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[challenge entry] No Surprises for Derren...

'I could have bribed someone at the Kinder factory - but that would have been illegal...'

From the Inappropriate TV Product Placement challenge. See all 374 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:16, archived)
# IT'S ALL FAKE HE'S NOT AN ENTERTAINER HE'S A BIG PHONY OMG
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:17, archived)
# OMG, next you'll be telling us santa isn't real :'(
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:18, archived)
# I HATE HIM SO MUCH HE'S A CUNT
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS A CUNT CHRIS MOYLES HEH
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:18, archived)
# and Paul cunting Daniels
IT'S NOT MAGIC IT'S A TRICK PEOPLE
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:19, archived)
# Derren Brown is a big fibber...
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:18, archived)
# I'm going to come out an say it.
I think this picture is shopped. It's entertaining, but because I think it might be shopped, I've changed my opinion of you completely and no longer find you remotely interesting, you big sell-out.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:21, archived)
# I can assure you that no trickery of any sort was involved.
I will reveal exactly how I did it in a few days...
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:22, archived)
# You asked 24 people what they would shop and took an average?
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:24, archived)
# I'm going to pretend that's what I did
at any rate...
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:31, archived)
# Hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:18, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:18, archived)
# What more could anybody want?
Chocolate AND a toy!
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:19, archived)
# yes!
I once got a Kinder Surprise toy with two left legs. I wrote a letter of complaint and received six toys by return of post.
But NO chocolate. I was gutted...
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:20, archived)
# Philistines!
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:22, archived)
# The eggs of numbing inevitability...
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:21, archived)
# Racist.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:22, archived)
# :o
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:25, archived)
# hahahaha!
perfect.
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:23, archived)
# hahahahahah
"shit toys in bits" Only 70p!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:26, archived)
# hahaha mighty
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:27, archived)
# kinder chocolate is boss!
half milk, half white. just like michael jackson.
(The Blue Brony Flogging a Dead Horse Since, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:57, archived)
# Excellent
Love this! *click*
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 16:07, archived)
# *remembers the days when Kinder Egg toys used to b e really good little kits, not moulded statuettes*
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:22, archived)
# these are from the 2006 collection.
good spot. They were much better in olden days.
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:23, archived)
# I remember the cars having internal combustion engines
well, pull back and off they go ones at least
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:26, archived)
# yes!
with a little metal flywheel, even, I seem to remember...
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:29, archived)
# I remember once getting little transformers in some eggs.. those were really cool
and I rememebr the little cars with a metal wheel thing to help them move along....
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:37, archived)
# Traction engines?
Edit: or not. Clearly my parent lied to me about my Thomas the Tank Engine. I'm off to cry to my therapist.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:59, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:24, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:27, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! - D - SharkTrousers, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:30, archived)
# :D :D :D
thanks, you three!
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:32, archived)
# Fuck yes!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:35, archived)
# :) ta!
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:38, archived)
# Hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:38, archived)
# arf
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 16:08, archived)
# i told
my careers teacher at school may years ago that i wanted to be the person who designs kinder egg toys (seriously I do still at 29). Anyway i got sent to the headmaster for being cheeky.
(I helped save b3ta! The invisible ham Fig rolls are the best, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 17:34, archived)
# It would be one of the best jobs
ever.
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 17:53, archived)
# i
concour
(I helped save b3ta! The invisible ham Fig rolls are the best, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 20:24, archived)
# Hai
Can I use this?
(oeb, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 17:48, archived)
# If it's not for profit
then sure, help yourself. If it's for t'web, a credit would be nice.
I'm flattered! :)
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 17:53, archived)
# Not like that
No no, I am a magician, and I know lots of other magicians. I would like to see if I can work out a method for it and pass it on to them (I don't preform professionally, but some of them do. This would be a thought exercise on my behalf, but if I mention it to them they may want to use it in their acts or something.) I know alot of comedy magicians who would love something like this to take the piss out of Derren.
(oeb, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 18:10, archived)
# Oh, I see what you mean...
You know, I was thinking that this might work pretty well as a real trick.
Go for it! Constructing your own magic tricks sounds like a wonderful pastime.
And then post a video of it over on /links!
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 18:28, archived)
# I will try
The method will be simple enough, just gotta convince one of them to do it =)

(I am not serious enough to pull off a fake mentalist routine, need someone intense with a goatee.)
(oeb, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 18:32, archived)
# haha...
Derren's goatee does most of the work.
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 18:43, archived)
# I would have loved this skill as a kid
That and being able to transform the shitty toys into decent ones

Nice work too BTW
(I helped save b3ta! Sheep!, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 20:02, archived)
# oh, yes!
It would have saved some heartache.
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 12:38, archived)
# hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Sat 19 Sep 2009, 10:12, archived)
# And it's been nicked by the Sun today
It appears, without credit, on page 36. Go forth and sue.
(nasalhair The Twix guy!, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 12:24, archived)
# So I see! Thanks very much for letting me know.
- I shall get on the case!
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 12:37, archived)
# I noticed that as well...
I hope you make them pay you so much money that they all die in a horrible Diana style coach crash before being raped by devils.
(elfinpunk Touching Cloth Since, Tue 22 Sep 2009, 18:46, archived)
# chocadoobie!
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:48, archived)
# Shamelessly and uncreditedly
used in the Sun on 22nd Sept!
(I helped save b3ta! DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 0:16, archived)