Kryptonite.
God knows why I'm telling you this. I feel though that there's an unfair fixation on male masturbation concerning young teenagers. So, yeah, around the age of 12, I noticed that occaisonally I'd get an urge to touch that place. Girls, of course, don't leave so much of a mess when we're finished. No crusty pillow cases for mum to kindly never mention to us. No, slapping the hole of cod is a much more discrete activity, and one that has pretty much stuck with me for years.

The thing is, with it not being so talked about, there are several aspects of autoeroticism that are almost shameful to engage in, and not given as much media-attention, maybe, as their male counterparts. I mean, who's ever heard of softly microwaving a whole banana and not just the skin? Cue several years accruing thick-tongued partners, dildos, vibrators, Ben Wa bells, magic eggs and really stiff pillows.

But the most glorious discovery I ever made was at a Christmas Party in '94. The scene: London, Holden & Smith's (accounting firm) HQ. I'd been drinking wine with my boss, M, and talking about the cute intern who she was planning to seduce. Me being a committed type and having a boyfriend, who turned out to have as little heart as he did cock. Anyway, it wasn't snowing, but in the name of reminiscing, it was snowing...

~~~~~~~~~~~

M says she wishes the party would get started. Sure, it was an accounting firm, but accountants can rave too, y'know? Alright. They can't. But we can clumsily jive to the kind of music that you only really hear on Mark Lamarr's radio shows. We were keen on it though, and the wine was going to our heads and our cheeks, and so we started talking to the DJ and he agreed to play some stuff for us, just while things were being set up.

Both M and myself were in heels and couldn't dance until they'd got the floor covered, for fear of standing on some of the razor tinsel, so we plunked ourselves down on the speakers, and I think I may have used the phrase, "Hit it DJ!"

And then it hit me. Oh shit. The reverb, it just went into my soul, right through me, via the holiest of holies. It was amazing. I turned to M and she turned to me. I remember thinking that she'd know just by looking at my face. I'd found my one true weakness. And from that day to this, I remain, totally addicted to bass.

Woa-wo-wow!
(sorry., Sat 20 Dec 2008, 4:47, 5 replies)

Waa-oh waa-oh
Haven't heard this song in YEARS.
( Grokthought wouldn't pay that for Chinese 5-Spice, Sat 20 Dec 2008, 5:36, closed)

subs
Heh I set up sound for "raves" (I'm young but know what passes for a rave nowadays is not a rave). We have some of the gnarliest subs every once in a while I will grab a cute girl and pull her up onto the subs and just watch as she melts. If their on drugs they need help walking away from the cabinets
(seshmarls, Sat 20 Dec 2008, 8:32, closed)

Oh Gosh!
My secret is out now...
*Blushes*
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Sat 20 Dec 2008, 9:00, closed)

just pulled
last night because of some subs. Now it would be time to sleep and deal with a hangover in the morn :( fuck hangovers
(seshmarls, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 10:31, closed)

My Motorbike is similar
Cruising to Brum in the rain on the M6 at 60 was not fun. Twenty minutes later on a dry road at 115 and I am cross eyed and crooning "I love you" into the wife's ear via the intercom. Luckily I am a pillion at the mo, but I am worried about what will happen when I pass my test next year...

If I die crashing at 120 into a wall, they will have to chisel the smile off my face!

You have to love resonance frequencies...
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Sat 20 Dec 2008, 12:41, closed)