Dave Nasty
The Technical Director at the last place I worked served up some gems that will stick with me forever...

"Now I'm not technical, but..."

"Can you explain that to me in words of less than 1 syllable?"

"I'm not asking you to cut corners, just go round them more quickly"

Nice bloke, but maybe the wrong job...
(vodders last downloaded improbably arousing pornography on, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 23:34, 6 replies)

Sounds familiar
Did he have pointy hair? And did you work in a cubicle?
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 9:33, closed)

"I'm not asking you to cut corners, just go round them more quickly"
Can't really argue with that one.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:45, closed)

Involuntarily shuddered
One previous tech manager would always start off with "Now I'm not technical, but..." and proceed to tell us how to implement something.

You just have to nod and smile I guess, and then when they've stopped go and do it how you were going to anyway.

edit: this has happened in a couple of jobs now - how exactly do non-technical people get to manage technology??
( rofl harris, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:55, closed)

Or...
How about replying with "Well, I'm not managerial, but *belm and walk into a door* "?
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 13:26, closed)

Hahahahahahaha THIS HARD

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 14:30, closed)

I might yet use the corners one
Unassailable logic.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 14:36, closed)