Not caught, exactly...
Well, I s'pose I'd better get a fucking move on and answer this bastard question before it closes. (Thankfully, I haven't got Tourette's; I'm just unable to sleep at the moment, so apologies for the foul language bound to follow.)

When I was fifteen, I was friends with a charming young lady who I nicknamed The Iron Dyke. (I should explain at this point that this was, believe it or not, a term of endearment - she was very much into other ladies, and used to love being called a dyke. Seriously, I'm not fucking joking about this. She was actually very feminine in everything except her dress-sense and her lust for violence - she once kicked me in the face as a joke...and, I promise, it was nothing to do with me calling her The Iron Dyke. In fact, the name came from the kick, not the other way round.)

Anyway, the main story is actually very non-eventful, but I need to put this into some context, otherwise the story will seem to contradict what I've just said. Although she considered herself 100% lesbian, she did sleep with men, but only to use them. Fair enough, though, as the men she slept with always knew the score - she never lied to or cheated on anybody. I admired her for her honesty, if nothing else. That's probably the biggest single thing we had in common, as well as our lust for the ladies.

I was, and I imagine still remain, the only man to have ever turned her down for some jiggy time. The main reason was that she was fifteen, too - she was a fair few months younger than I was, but the point was we were both underage. The other reason was that I just couldn't get enough of having her beg me for sex (which would fucking surprise you, to say the least, if you knew what I actually looked like - even then). She said herself that she'd never begged anyone else for sex before.

Which brings me to the incident in question. Her family home was a very nice large house, with 3 stories. I was with her in her bedroom on the second floor, and the conversation quickly turned to us having sexytime (her whole family were downstairs, but this didn't bother her in the slightest - never did). She was telling me about a proper Indiana Jones-style whip she had under her bed, and I ended up cracking it very loudly (the whip, that is). Completely out of character, she panicked that her family would have heard it, but we were left to continue talking for absolutely ages.

We were sitting on the floor near her bedroom door (I think she'd wanted to show me something or other as a ruse to get me nearer to her bed), and she got round to begging me for sex (again, I'm still in stunned disbelief about this even to this day), and she was saying how easy it would be, just for her to unzip me, pull me out, put a Priority (my then-nickname for johnnies) on, and just sit on my cock. I'm not going to lie to you and say I wasn't tempted, but there was absolutely NO WAY I'd ever sleep with an underage girl - even if I was the same age!

I was about to tell her this for the umpteenth time, when I looked down and noticed that she had, very skilfully, managed to undo my zip, my belt, and the top button on my jeans - all without me noticing. (And believe me, I'm the sort of guy to notice when that sort of stuff happens.) I mean, this bitch was *good*.

Just as I stood up and started doing myself up, her dad did that thing that all annoying parents do - you know, when they knock on your door but come in precisely a nanosecond after said knock, rendering the knock they've just made absolutely useless. I managed to finish my belt before he could put his head round the door, doing so while turning my back, and he saw enough to be able to tell that I was doing my fly up with my back to him. Bless him, though - he didn't say a single, solitary word about it. He was probably used to it; in fact, that's probably why he left it so long before coming up to her room - every other man she knew would have fucked her and fucked off by then. He probably thought she'd done a black widow and eaten me! Hence the loud snap he'd heard.

I know this may sound like incredibly bad parenting on his and his wife's part, but this young woman was a rebel in the extreme to say the least, and I think they thought that if she was shagging someone that she knew, and that they knew, and it was under their roof, then at least she wasn't in danger by being out of their sight, where absolutely anything could happen to her. There really was no controlling this woman, and I doubt very much she's calmed down since. The poor bitch; I was the nearest thing she ever had to a boyfriend, I'm absolutely sure of it.

I really miss being friends with her, as we just clicked. We got each other. But not having me - and I'm not exactly Brad Pitt, so it's not like I was inundated with offers at the time - drove her to distraction, and in the end it got in the way of our friendship. That and other things.

If you're reading this, Iron Dyke, I miss you. More than you'll ever know. But we both know we're better off not being friends any more.

Especially if your dad was to find us fucking each other.
(TheAmazingMeatMan ™ can't sing, but he's got soul, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 5:51, 4 replies)

so your very long story for the 'caught' qotw
is how you almost got caught, but didn't, not leastly because you had no intention of doing anything.

man, you failed then and you're failing now.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 6:21, closed)

Not as bad, though...
...as failing by saying 'not leastly'. Grow a fucking brain before you criticise others, you cuntish retard.
(TheAmazingMeatMan ™ can't sing, but he's got soul, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 6:23, closed)

yes sir!
i enjoyed the story, btw
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 6:26, closed)

Fuck sake ...
Essex or Washington?
(Que?, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 7:48, closed)