Well, just this morning
I was in a very boring meeting, and my colleagues stomach started to rumble. Not much at first, but more and more audibly as the meeting dragged on. And all I could think of was pounding her stomach like a bongo and yelling 'HUNGER STRIKES!' (from the shreddies advert) I restrained myself, and started to giggle instead. And then she started to giggle. And then the person sitting on her right started to giggle, all the time trying to keep it quiet enough for my rather elderly boss not to hear. We failed. He was, rather strangely, not nearly as amused as I was.


As we live in different cities, I don't get to see my boyfriend that often. A couple of weeks back, I drove up to see him and discovered he had man flu. Not content with moaning, groaning and giving his damn cold to me, he denied me my fortnightly carnal delights because he was feeling ill, and then thrashed around in the bed all night, sweating and snoring and generally being a disgusting germ filled boy. At 5:30am, after being rudely awoken by yet another elephantine snore and flailing limb, I thought 'bugger this for a game of soldiers' and got up for a wee. On returning to the boudoir, my bloke is lying on top of the bunched up duvet and spreadeagled across the bed. I can't get in; there's no room and no covers. Knackered and fuming, I applied a tub of fresh-from-the-freezer Ben and Jerrys to his naked arse crack, and when he sat bolt upright screaming, farted in his face. Then I kept him awake giggling like a loon on and off for the next hour or so. Served him right.
(berk, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 16:19, 1 reply)

omg
You sound like my perfect woman 0.0
(EvilMeister, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 16:22, closed)