An open letter.
Dear Conspiracy Theorists,

Conspiracy theories are just that – theories. When you begin to use facts (actual, real facts) to back them up they start to become more than theories and could possibly attain the status that you think they deserve – i.e. truth. If you continue to ignore facts in favour of your own misguided belief that you alone know better than the vast majority of people, including many experts on the subject, then you will continue to be branded as a nutter.

Please note:

The twin towers were brought down by aeroplanes hitting them. For evidence of this, please refer to the footage of a fucking aeroplane hitting each tower. A big aeroplane, flying very fast and full of fucking jet-fuel. This is enough to bring down a skyscraper, as evidenced by the US National Institute for Standards and Technology ( 1.usa.gov/ieAvGz ), American Society of Civil Engineers (http://bit.ly/twA2oQ) and the UK’s Institution of Structural Engineers ( bit.ly/s0k98s ). The main argument against these reports was presented by a Professor of that World renowned institute for academic excellence, Brigham Young University (entirely funded itself by those luminaries the Jesus Christ Church of Latter Day Saints – better known as the Mormons). His field of expertise? Nuclear Fusion.

The Freemasons are a society of generally well-meaning old men who have a focus on self-improvement, being in the company of friends, a bit of the theatrical, charitable work and some good old-fashioned drinking. The secrets of Masonry have been “unveiled” dozens of times, and never have they been revealed as being a secret world government. There are funny hand-shakes, trouser-rolling, special words and acting out a few stories generally from the Old Testament. Everything that goes on inside a Masonic Temple is available if you look for it, either in a library or just on the internet. The United Grand Lodge of England ( bit.ly/7WCyp2 ) are remarkably free with the information that they provide, and if you don’t want to trust them then look at the hundreds of websites that go into intimate detail about their ritual. Seriously though – it’s actually a little boring if you’re not involved with it yourself. You can also go to the Grand Temple in Great Queen Street for a visit if you wish (it’s free), see where they meet, introduce yourself to some Real Life Freemasons and ask all the questions that your heart desires.

The Bilderberg Group is an invitation only group of politicians and business leaders that meet so that these people can get together and talk freely and informally about the state of business and the economy without fear of it being reported in the press. It was set up with the intention of building international relations in a comparatively informal environment and its tradition of secrecy is why it remains a successful tool for commercial and political discussion.

If you believe that space-reptiles have enslaved humanity using mind-control, then you need to take the tin-foil off your head and get yourself to a psychiatrist. Quickly.

The thing is that if a conspiracy theory were true, we would know about it. If there were a secret cabal of people controlling the world, then don’t you think that somebody involved would’ve blabbed by now? They’re politicians for crying out loud – they can’t even keep their personal dirty laundry out of the media – how do you think they’d keep something like that out of the media? We have government secrets revealed by ministers walking out of 10 Downing Street, the most photographed door in the WORLD, with documents the wrong way round. These people couldn’t keep a secret if their life depended on it.

The fact is that people who believe these things have an inherent desire to believe that they are something special – that they have a special insight into the world that others fail to see. Personally, I feel sorry for them.

The fact is that the world is generally a rational kind of place – Occam’s razor can be applied to many things to explain it. Secrets are hard to keep, people talk and when people have power they make sure that people know about it. That’s what it comes down to. The only real truth is bit.ly/bKEJmU

Regards,

Normal People
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:55, 22 replies)

A few rejoinders
Yes, conspiracy theories do often go too far. However, conspiracies do occur, just Google 30 conspiracy theories that happen to be true. People do get together and conspire and have since time immemorial. 9/11 did happen to be a conspiracy, a conspiracy wrought by Al Qaeda but a conspiracy nonetheless.

The Bilderbergers include some politicians. It also includes media representatives and businessmen. If you read conspiracy theories you will note it's not politicians who can't keep their mouths shut behind most of them it's usually the default of Jewish international bankers who allegedly buy and control politicians and don't give a monkey's cuss who on paper it says runs any particular country.

Anyway, you have many valid points but oversimplify what many of the conspiracists are saying.
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:02, closed)

Ok, I'll bite
I googled it, and the first result is '33 conspiracies that happen to be true' on a site called New World Order Report, which is a great start - that website sounds level-headed... Anyway, glancing at the first page, it seems like, yes some of it's plausible and a few definitely did happen (Tunguskee being a prime example).

However, the rest looks like the usual nutjob collection of assorted testimonies and facts shaken and stirred until it resembles a story. The fact that they've got this crap mixed in with stuff that has been proved real just suggests to me that they're using the confirmed stuff to lend credence to the giant lizards stuff.

Also, there's a reason that all conspiracy websites look like they've been designed by people with a limited grasp on their mental picnic basket...... the government has taken over their minds, and everyone knows that civil servants have no sense of graphic balance.
(SimianKid internet faffer, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:10, closed)

I'll bite back
"on a site called New World Order Report"

It's not terribly surprising that an NWO site should top the google results hosting this particular article now, is it? That's entirely what one might expect given that conspiracy theorists like to read about conspiracies, true or otherwise.

Again, this is just a shorthand used by people who wish to not have to spend their time actually dealing with content and want to swiftly move on, the clear inference being "oh it's on a conspiracy theory website therefore it's almost certainly bogus". This is attempting to dismiss what someone is saying purely on the grounds that, hey, they're saying it.

However, nice of you to pay it the privilege of "glancing at it" and admitting "yes some of it's plausible".

"However, the rest looks like the usual nutjob collection of assorted testimonies and facts shaken and stirred until it resembles a story"

Am I supposed to take your word for this? It may well "look like" that but is it in fact that? You offer no examples. You are given a list of examples and respond with none of your own. This is why I often have some sympathy with conspiracists, they are often blithely dismissed.

To me it matters not that often 90% of what they come up with is shoddily constructed bilge, because 10% of the time they've gotten their hands on interesting stuff that has entirely flown under the public radar and illuminates just how shitty our democratically elected governments and their agencies can often be.

If you're going to take them to task, do a better job is what I'm saying.
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:27, closed)

Fair enough
I was a bit swift on my reply, and yes, you're right – I should take the time to read all the evidence presented before coming to any conclusions.

Didn't mean to sound high-handed, mister, you have my apologies.

/polite bow
(SimianKid internet faffer, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:23, closed)

No offense taken
and hopefully none given.
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:05, closed)

Came for the Agostini link ...
... left happy.

Carry on!

MB.
( MeatB3ta ... I was just cleaning it when it went off ..., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:03, closed)

That's exactly what they want you to think.

( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:12, closed)

re: Bilderberg
"these people can get together and talk freely and informally about the state of business and the economy".

I for one can't believe that all they do is talk about what *is*. Can you imagine the politicians / businesspeople / heads of state all going "Oh yes, the situation with regards to peak oil / Libya / Iran is xxx" and stroking their chins thoughtfully *and that's all they do* ?

The attendee list is not made up of people who sit on the sidelines. If their discussion aren't along the lines of "here's where we're at - what are we going to do next" then I'd be amazed. That many powerful people in one place are not going to not be making plans - what actions to take, who to put in charge (ref my earlier points about Blair / Thatcher / Clinton attending several years before they got into power) and so forth.

Sorry, but that sort of stuff should not be happening outside the public eye - not when it affects the lives of all of us.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:18, closed)

But, but, but......
Except that when politicians actually want to do something, they can't just go ahead and do it - there is due political process to follow. If, for example, Mr. Cameron decided to do something at one of these meetings, he couldn't just go ahead and do it off his own bat. It would still have to go through the Cabinet, be presented to Parliament, be debated and voted on.

The Prime Minister has very little executive power in the UK - any significant decision made must be agreed upon by the executive body (i.e. the cabinet) and then the government as a whole. Realistically we have no control over how politicians come to their decisions anyway, and discussing it with as many people knowledgeable on the matter as possible, even if some of those have their own agenda, is likely to have the best outcome.
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:35, closed)

Yeah, right
I remember really well the democratic process that took us to war in Afghanistan. And what about the voting that took place to support us bombing Libya recently.

Sorry, recent events give the lie to that one. Half of the cabinet weren't behind Blair and his desire to go into Iraq - but it happened anyway, at a time when millions of us were marching in (pointless, sadly) demos opposing it.

I wish the process worked the way you described it - but it doesn't.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:48, closed)

The greatest deflection ever was Bill Clinton's blow job.
"If he can't keep a hummer secret, how could he keep xxxxxxxxxx a secret?"

Brilliant double-bluffing.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:19, closed)

Hunter is one of them.
*Dons tin foil hat* :-)
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:27, closed)

It only works
with grease-proof paper underneath it, otherwise it enhances the power.

Oh, and yes - regarding "one of them", I freely admit to being a Freemason. I have, and will, never deny that fact. I have (unfortunately) never been involved with the Bilderberg Group, (thankfully) Al-Qaeda, or (and this depresses me no end) Space-Reptile-Overlords.
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:38, closed)

When Icke says space reptile overlords
he really means "international Zionist Jewry" and it's just a code so he doesn't get the Jewish Anti-Defamation League taking him to court. The Jewish Anti-Defamation League (not to be confused with the Anti-Defamation League of Judaea or the Jewish People's Anti-Defamation League) are just itching for David Icke to put a foot wrong so they can come down on him like a ton of bricks.
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:52, closed)

hang on
"When Icke says Lizards he really means jews." I remember seeing Jon Ronson do something on this and he concluded that nope Icke really did mean reptiles.

Obviously very difficult to prove either way but you're certain despite no concrete evidence which is (ho ho) the hallmark of conspiracy thinking.
( rob, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:39, closed)

I'm not certain
the Jewish Anti-Defamation League is, however.
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:43, closed)

I think you'll find
that it's the Anti-Defamation League of Judea.
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:55, closed)

SPLITTERS !

(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:04, closed)

Fuck Off!

Who do you think you are, coming in here, talking sense and shit like that?

Buy a fucking icon and I might respect your opinions. (BTW - if you buy an icon, 10% goes to b3ta to run the site and the rest goes to the Catholic Church to pay for their fucking-choir-boys-and-getting-away-with-it-fund, registered charity number 1712378666)

But, to be a wee bit more serious, the salient point of your post is that secrets are almost impossible to keep. So, so true.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:57, closed)

Talking sense?
I refer the disreputable gentleman slumped in the corner to the final link.

Defence rests M'Lud.

Edit - If I'd known that my donation went to support our good Catholic Kiddie Fiddlers in their time of need, I'd have signed up sooner....
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:30, closed)

Thank you for those kind words about Masons :)

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:51, closed)

You're not the only one othe square...
St. Aubin's, 958 - Province of Jersey. Presently Junior Deacon - you?
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:55, closed)