Since you mentioned Woolies...
When it was announced that Woolworths was going toes-up, overnight my local branch became a dumping ground for all the old crap that no other branch had ever managed to shift. Someone, somewhere in a Woolworths warehouse far far away obviously thought "Sod it, we're going under, let's just ship all these boxes of shit out and see what sells". Consequently, my local branch became a one-stop shop for;

- 'Fame Academy's David Sneddon - My Story' DVDs
- Diet Irn-Bru
- Alongside the DVDs and CDs, a whole rack of actual VHS videos
- Several hundred 'Worth It' toilet seats

Strangest of all though was the sudden arrival of about a thousand 'Worth It' ironing boards. One aisle was filled with the bloody things. It became something of a landmark, pile upon pile of cheap white ironing boards, all being completely ignored by everyone.

That was until the last day, when it was 80% off everything. Apparently there's something about the offer of an ironing board for 50p that triggers an involuntary reaction amongst the over-60s, compelling them to buy. They flew off the shelves in scenes reminiscent of the Cabbage-Patch riots of the early 1980s. Consequently, the High Street that day was awash with pensioners clutching 'Worth It' ironing boards under their arms.

So for all the bad things about Woolworths going under - The job losses, the end of an iconic brand etc - One positive did come out of it. For one day only, walking up the High Street felt like being in a care-home production of Point Break.
(costas, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:43, 6 replies)

That got a click
for the last line. Nice.
( Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:44, closed)

Superb
*click*
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:49, closed)

lovely imagery at the end there :)

( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:50, closed)

In my woolies
the day before closing there were hundreds of pairs of plimsolls and about 70 copies of a Cliff Richard book, and that was it, I'm sure there must have been pensioners in that one too the next day buying up all the books.
(deadly_sinners, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:26, closed)

The worst thing about this story......
....is it ambles along all pedestrian and inconsequential and then smacks you in the funny gland right at the end - now I look like a twat sat at my desk for (apparently) snorting and coughing up my cup of tea for no reason.

Do you think if you'd stopped one of them they'd have said....

"Listen you snot-nose little shit, I was takin' shrapnel in Khe Sanh when you were crappin' in your hands and rubbin' it on your face. "


Thanks for that, have a clicky.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:52, closed)

LOL!
old, dumb and full of come
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 8:54, closed)