Two birds with being stoned
So we'd been on a night out and I'd been on the pull. Walked this girl home (fresher's week at uni) and found her accommodation. On the way back, this guy pissed out of his skull tries to muscle in on the act. No way, thinks I. Apparently, she's not too taken with him either, and we dump him off as soon as possible and carry on.

Now, long-term relationships are something I find it hard to come by, but she's lovely. I mean, REALLY lovely. Not stunning, not drop-dead gorgeous, but funny, bright and genuine, and you would have: but for some reason, I didn't.

I didn't want it to end up as a one-night drunken/high encounter and lose her to the chemicals, so we swapped numbers and she said she'd be in touch.

On my way out of the accommodation block, I passed the kitchen. A quick sniff confirmed that somebody had a nice bit of bud going on in there. The kitchens only had heat detectors, not smoke detectors, so nothing but a fire would set them off. Made sense with students who'd never cooked before, and saved Burnt Toast false alarms. In late September, this led to a lot of smoking in there, due to the weather.

So, on a roll, I decide to slip in and see what's happening. I'm a sociable sort and get on well with people even if I've never met them before. I open the door ready to sponge a few tokes and -- three girls and a hookah on the table. Score!

So, introductions, I sit down, start huffing, two aren't interested but the yank girl from New York is. Personally, I think it was a matter of accent over appearance - everyone wants a Hugh Grant of their own if they aren't from these shores.

Stay a few hours chatting - I was pleasantly mellow before, now we're all a little stoned and it's time to go to bed.
"Let's go watch a film," says she
"Sure thing," says I, the girl from earlier still on my mind, but no harm in a film, right? I truly was enjoying the conversation, and it's nice to be sought after, but it would only be a film: Girl From Earlier was still on my mind.
"So... where's your room?"
Alarm bells. Maybe it was pot paranoia but I didn't want her to be some crazy stalker and know where I lived.
"You don't want to go there, it's a mess."
"Yeah, well so's mine, where's your room?"
"No, really, it's a shit tip..."

This cringeworthy exchange went on for a good two minutes as we tried to convince each other to let the respective other let us into their room. I don't know what her reason was, maybe the same as mine, maybe the walls were thin and she was embarrassed, I don't know. What I do know is that it ended with us going to our own beds alone.

Next morning, Lovely Girl is nowhere to be found, and one of the other two Kitchen Girls informs me that the New Yorker was good mates with Lovely Girl, and after turning her down she'd proceeded to make out like I was gagging to get her into the sack.

I should just have chosen one and not cared if they hated me the day after, like anyone else who was my age, but being relatively inexperienced and highly romanticised by Hollywood (fuck you, Hugh Grant, next time tell me it like it is!) I believed Lovely Girl might truly have been The One, and paid through the nose for it.

Shy types take note.
(jellybeanflicker Jesus was Korean, but there he was Cho Sun Wun, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 17:34, 4 replies)

I know the feeling.
Though I have been far worse and told someone I may have had a chance with I was interested in someone else (who thought I was a twat).
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 17:58, closed)

Why are we sometimes so stupid?
It can't be evolution, since that thrives on rumpy pumpy.
(jellybeanflicker Jesus was Korean, but there he was Cho Sun Wun, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 18:11, closed)

It sure can be evolution
If that's the behaviour we don't want to promulgate.

Frankly, indiscriminate spreading of our seed is the male directive. Fill 'em all up. Let nature and the female gender sort it out. Damn, it's easy being a man.

Hmmm. Have to consider what non-vaginal sex is for then. Anal and oral: fun? Facials, D/s, gagging, fisting, etc: humiliation of the other party? Where's Dawkins when you need him?
(Large Hardon Collider Bah Bloody Humbug, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 18:33, closed)

Your username makes that all the better
A lot of the stuff you mentioned goes into the "Psychology" box, which is something to do with being truly sentient. As for the rest, I haven't a fucking clue. It was a semi-honest question.
(jellybeanflicker Jesus was Korean, but there he was Cho Sun Wun, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 18:44, closed)