This one from just a few minutes ago
I have a neat little plugin for Emacs called "Dr Fill". You talk to it and it attempts to psychoanalyze you, with predictable results.

the following is the result of a combination of puerile infantilism and cold logic (the program talks, then the Ninja, and so forth):

I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time
you are finished talking, type RET twice.

-hi. my bumhole hurts

Maybe you should consult a medical doctor; I am a psychotherapist. .

-no, the bumhole in my forehead

Why do you say the bumhole in your forehead?

-cos it hurts

Perhaps you should consult a medical doctor; I am a psychotherapist.

-ok, changing the subject: im emo

Is it because of your plans that you say you are emo?

-what plans

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

-check your grammar

What makes you believe check my grammar?

-your balls, is what

Can you elaborate on that?

-testicles

I would appreciate it if you would continue.

-my testicles are swinging

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say your
testicles are swinging?

-yes. they jiggle my balls and make them swing

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through all
this?

-yes. my friends at school also used to thump my balls around. it made
fapping a bit difficult

Tell me about your school.

-we used to fap a lot. oh, and jiggle each others' testicles

Are you sure that that?

-yes, i am sure that that

Go on, don't be afraid.

-i am thinking that you are a dirty old man and need to be sterilised

Is it because I am a dirty old man and need to be sterilised that you
came to me?

-yes. i want you to stroke my bumhole and stop it from hurting because
you are a dirty old man

Does it bother you that I am a dirty old man?

-not at all. i love it. it means that you will jiggle my balls and
stroke my bumhole

When did you first know that I will jiggle your balls and stroke your
bumhole?

-when you pooed on my forehead. that's normally a good indicator

What do you think?

-it was tasty

Earlier you said I am a dirty old man and need to be sterilised?

-yes. the argument stands

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

-by sticking my cock in them. normally, cake is involved

Are you afraid of sex?

-no. only sex with chips. the oil makes my shlong blister

Talk about something about your sexual history.

-this one time, i fucked a plate of chips and got blisters on my wang,
it made screwing the rubber giraffe impossible for a few days

Perhaps you could discuss your sex life...

-i take my pleasure from foodstuffs, rubber animals and pictures of
janet jackson with a dong photoshopped onto her forehead. also, i love
it when dirty old men poo on me

What happened when dirty old men poo on you?

-i jizzed on their faces

Do you really think you jizzed on their faces?

-yes. the white streaks of spaff were fairly telling evidence

You mentioned that I am a dirty old man?

-yes. you are.

Perhaps this has something to do with your sex life?

-we've already covered this...

Is it because of hangups you have that you say we've already covered
this?

-yes

I see... Well, what makes you think this is so?

-goodbye. you've been supremely unhelpful

My secretary will send you a bill.

-fuck her. i pooed on her face.

Apologies for length, it was trimmed by an old man's false chompers.
(Tiktock Beating off flamers with a shitty stick, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 22:09, 4 replies)

Yup,
pretty much like a normal Psychotherapy session with some of our shrinks.

/click
(kitescreech still here, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 22:13, closed)

I chortled at this until
"Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say your
testicles are swinging?

-yes. they jiggle my balls and make them swing"

Then I couldn't breath for a full minute. I still can't read it without laughing, even now.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 23:23, closed)

haha
laughing while taking a draw of a ciggy is horrible. I blame dirty old men
(jones, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 1:43, closed)

Splendid...
...barking, but splendid! Made me laugh like a bedlam resident :-)
(Mousy Tongue ...Generally bemused by life..., Fri 16 Nov 2007, 23:48, closed)