I got called Rambo.
I live in Thailand and was on holiday on the island of Phi Phi and was leaving to head back to Bangkok. My girlfriend wanted her binoculars from our bag and I fished around in there and cut a massive hole in my middle finger. The bastard wouldn't stop bleeding and the only help I had from Thai sailors was a bottle of local whiskey and dirty cotton wool. So instead I took off a shoelace, got some bog roll and tied it round said finger. Viola. Ready made bandage...though I did have to wait for about 3 hours before I could get some proper dressing for it. No, not Paul Newman's. Pictures in replies.
(jonhimself, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 13:17, 7 replies)

Well...
The picture would be here if I could figure out how...
(jonhimself, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 13:22, closed)

B3tards.com

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 13:37, closed)

Host it somewhere
and then put the URL between HTML image tags.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 21 Jan 2011, 14:33, closed)

I am at a loss to understand how a stringed musical instrument came into this...
Was the viola also in your backpack, along with a tuba antiseptic cream?
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 16:22, closed)

ditto
then again, credit for the two white pegs.
I seem to read this written, more often than not, as wah laa or similar
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 0:31, closed)

So...
...what did you play on the viola? And wasn't it a bit inconvenient carrying that around with you?
(IHaveTheRightToArmBears, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 18:03, closed)

Alas, I never played again...

(jonhimself, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 4:08, closed)