This could probably have been posted under the Professions I Hate QOTW
although I'm not entirely sure if it is a profession....

A while I back I was idly flicking through the TV channels during a weekday, hoping to find Cash in the Attic or some form of celebrity fishmongering reality show (which either may or should exist). I briefly settled on BBC 1 to see some kind of procession involving the Queen. As the Queen made her way through a crowded street waving, an easy job in itself, a voiceover from the studio commentated on the proceedings, another seemingly easy job. However, the shittiest/easiest line of employment was then introduced by said pundit....

"We now go over to the official BBC Queen's Jewellery Commentator."

"Thank you. As you can see, the Queen is today wearing the brooch presented to her by the King of Belgium after he fisted her on Easter Sunday of 1976*. This is its first outing since March 1982, and I think you'll all remember that it rained that day."

"What an intriguing analysis. Thank you Benjamin**."

"....."

That was this guys job. Thirty seconds talking about a broche once every couple of months. This raises a number of questions;

1) How does one go about getting this job?
2) Why would one want this job?
3) Why is my TV licence fee being used to keep this guy in a job?
4) Who actually wants to know about the Queen's bloody brooch!?

I have tried searching the internets to find out more about this position but to no avail.



* This event may not have happened. And Belgium may not have a king.
** Name may not be accurate. He sounded like a Benjamin.
( greg_evigan is possibly deceased on, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:15, 4 replies)

You shoudl try being the royal confectionary correspondent.
They get aksed about brioche even less than that the jewelry man does about broches.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:18, closed)

What the hell is a "broche"?
Do you mean "broach"?

Or "brioche"?

Why would the Queen be wearing a butter pastry?

Even more, what's a "brochue"? It's not even an understandable typo. "E" is separated from "U" by three letters on my keyboard!!!

Were you wearing boxing gloves to type?

Anyway...
"3) Why is my TV licence fee being used to keep this guy in a job?"

If I read it correctly, he may be paid for by the Queen herself.

"Yes, your Majesty, the green earrings really bring out your eyes!"

Or should that be "green herrings"?
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:22, closed)

Sorry for offending you there
turns out I didn't know how to spell a rarely used word. Very idiotic of me, I'm sure you will agree...

I figured that the BBC would pay it's own commentators. After all, I very much doubt that football teams would have to, let alone want to, pay for the services of John Motson.

Anyway, I wasn't quite proposing an inquest into the funding of the BBC, merely telling a lighthearted story.
( greg_evigan is possibly deceased on, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 17:10, closed)

Clearly
It's a harder job than it first appears. You have to be able to spell "Brooch" for a start.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:28, closed)

Ahem
Just as well I never applied for it then.

Edited to include correct spelling of brooch to please the above folk.

Amazingly I don't think I have ever been required to type this word in my life, hence the poor spelling.
( greg_evigan is possibly deceased on, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:33, closed)

I wanted to comment on the spelling
But I wasn't quite sure how to broach the subject.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:34, closed)

Oh well played, sir

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:41, closed)

Rather than bringing up spelling of a word that I can still read, thus making myself look like an anal little cunt, I have to say, I'm fairly sure that isn't his only job, rather, it's a role he fills. I'd guess his main job is based around the royals or some shite and they drag him out for a few seconds filler every once in a while.
(Mong goose, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 10:33, closed)