Faking it
Rakky writes, "We've all done it. From qualifications to orgasms, everyone likes to play 'let's pretend' once in a while."
So when have you faked it? Did you get away with it? Or were your mendacious ways exposed?
( , Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:16)
Rakky writes, "We've all done it. From qualifications to orgasms, everyone likes to play 'let's pretend' once in a while."
So when have you faked it? Did you get away with it? Or were your mendacious ways exposed?
( , Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:16)
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And this one...
It's a repost from a few weeks back, I hope that you do not mind:
The batteries ran out of my portable CD player. Ah, no. No. It's not the music that I'll miss, it's the sanity of complete isolation. With those huge headphones strapped on my head, no one talks to me. And now the batteries are dead. And I'm on the bus. With nothing to read. Oh, no. No.
Solution: I'm the only one that knows the batteries are dead. So I'll sit for a while, bobbing my head, pretending that everything is fine. Yeah.
I must have done too good of a job and now some teenage boy is tapping me on the shoulder. I turn around, remove one earphone from my head and resume the most annoyed expression I can.
"Yes?"
The boy says, "Oh, can you turn that music down? It's really loud!"
"Okay..." I reply, amused. I fumble with the dial on my dead CD player. "Better?"
"Ah, yes," he says, a look of blissful contentment creeping across his face. "Thank you."
True story.
( , Fri 11 Jul 2008, 19:44, 7 replies)
It's a repost from a few weeks back, I hope that you do not mind:
The batteries ran out of my portable CD player. Ah, no. No. It's not the music that I'll miss, it's the sanity of complete isolation. With those huge headphones strapped on my head, no one talks to me. And now the batteries are dead. And I'm on the bus. With nothing to read. Oh, no. No.
Solution: I'm the only one that knows the batteries are dead. So I'll sit for a while, bobbing my head, pretending that everything is fine. Yeah.
I must have done too good of a job and now some teenage boy is tapping me on the shoulder. I turn around, remove one earphone from my head and resume the most annoyed expression I can.
"Yes?"
The boy says, "Oh, can you turn that music down? It's really loud!"
"Okay..." I reply, amused. I fumble with the dial on my dead CD player. "Better?"
"Ah, yes," he says, a look of blissful contentment creeping across his face. "Thank you."
True story.
( , Fri 11 Jul 2008, 19:44, 7 replies)
earphones
I've a set of those earphones.
They saved my life on many a bus.
And
They keep your body temp up.
( , Fri 11 Jul 2008, 20:22, closed)
I've a set of those earphones.
They saved my life on many a bus.
And
They keep your body temp up.
( , Fri 11 Jul 2008, 20:22, closed)
True stories!
One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
*********************************
...sorry, I was just reminded of these...
( , Fri 11 Jul 2008, 20:51, closed)
One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
*********************************
...sorry, I was just reminded of these...
( , Fri 11 Jul 2008, 20:51, closed)
National Express...
I caught the coach from Victoria to Warrington, carrying a 'ghetto blaster' with no batteries in it.
At Golders Green, the driver said he wasn't going to go any further unless I turned it off.
It wasn't until I took it down to him and asked for his assistance that somebody else, wearing headphones, owned up.
( , Fri 11 Jul 2008, 22:11, closed)
I caught the coach from Victoria to Warrington, carrying a 'ghetto blaster' with no batteries in it.
At Golders Green, the driver said he wasn't going to go any further unless I turned it off.
It wasn't until I took it down to him and asked for his assistance that somebody else, wearing headphones, owned up.
( , Fri 11 Jul 2008, 22:11, closed)
Hm
Is my story in Mallrats or something? I have seen it but not for a long time. This actually happened to me, though. And I bet it is more grammatically correct than Mallrats...good movie...just saying...
( , Sat 12 Jul 2008, 15:27, closed)
Is my story in Mallrats or something? I have seen it but not for a long time. This actually happened to me, though. And I bet it is more grammatically correct than Mallrats...good movie...just saying...
( , Sat 12 Jul 2008, 15:27, closed)
No, not at all.
Your story is completely original and well told. It was the line at the end that made me think of "Mallrats". Sorry if it seemed I was being critical...
( , Sun 13 Jul 2008, 13:50, closed)
Your story is completely original and well told. It was the line at the end that made me think of "Mallrats". Sorry if it seemed I was being critical...
( , Sun 13 Jul 2008, 13:50, closed)
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