You know who I hate?
Anyone more successful than me, who managed to get there with less talent than a drunken five year-old..

Like David Walliams and Matt Lucas. I could have come up with some stupid catchphrases and one-dimensional characters, and re-recorded pretty much identical sketches, and made a fortune. Easily. Like a camp homosexual McDonalds worker, who would leer whenever he said, "Do you want me to make it a large one?" in a vaguely threatening homosexual manner. Or a mental-health office receptionist, who was herself (stereotypically) 'mental', and who constantly did 'hilarious' things like trying to answer a banana, or mistake a visitor for a hatstand. See? That's at least as good as anything they came up with for 'Little Britain,' that steaming pile of televisual horseshit.

Or any kind of sports commentator. All they do is tell you what's happening (in front of your very eyes), and, occasionally, spout the kind of useless facts Rainman himself would have found too boring to bother with.

Footballers, and any other sportsman who is obscenely overpaid. You get paid more than most doctors and nurses - they save lives, while you chase each other about a field and occasionally rape and kill a stripper. How is that fucking fair?

Or Bono, who blatantly sees himself as the Second Coming of Christ and attaches his name to any charity event going, while hoarding vast millions and swimming in a vault full of change like Scrooge McDuck (in my imagination). "Oh, you want to save Africa, Bono? You need loads of money to do it? Why don't you use the millions you amassed selling your boring faux-rock to idiots, then? You smug, hypocritical cunt."

And Stephen Hawking, for not electing to wear a full Dalek outfit and have his electrical voice match the Daleks'. Because that would have been awesome.

And, lastly, I hate Samuel L Jackson. Simply because he is easily cooler than I will ever be. And when I say, "Motherfucker," it sounds nothing like the way he says it. And that makes me sad
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 4:48, 14 replies)

Nope
Your characters are infinitely better than anything they have produced for that Little Britain.

Still not very good ;-) , but a hell of a lot better than a disabled bloke in a wheelchair who can actually walk - week, after week, after week, after series, after week.

Completely not funny.
(dchurch bah, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 9:29, closed)

Slow on the driveway
Click for the Rainman ref.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 9:34, closed)

Nice to know I'm not the only one who thought Little Britain was bollocks

( Dave McF wrote some words on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 9:44, closed)

I think you'll find
Most people on the board think it's bollocks, because anyone with an IQ in triple figures will be able to see it for what it is, beautifully illustrated above. It's stupid humour for stupid people. End of.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 10:00, closed)

Nah.
I'm quite intelligent, and I enjoyed Little Britain. I thought the dark, disturbing edge well played.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 10:17, closed)

Aye
That's pretty much what I thought. But then, apart from my dad, everyone I know in real life seems to love it. I think I need to re-evaluate my friends...
( Dave McF wrote some words on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 12:28, closed)

Utter
shite.

I watched some of the first series, and didn't see anything that even raised a smile. Everyone was ranting on about it being really funny etc... so I thought I must have just missed the joke.

Two ro three series on - where the sketches haven't changed, and the, ahem, jokes are the same, and I still don't get it.

I hate *comedy* which relies on people's insecurities to find it funny, ie:

"What? You mean you don't get it? Ha - you must be a fool."
"Oh, no, I thought it was funny and all....blah"

It's not funny. It never has been funny, and those two have rinsed everyone and anyone for everything. Even they must realise it's not funny and that they are being given money for nothing.
(dchurch bah, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 11:45, closed)

Perhaps the only funny thing
was Vicki Pollard, although I grew up in Bristol where everyone sounded like her (and many looked like her, too).

And even she wore thin before it moved to television.
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 15:12, closed)

I clicked
Just for the Stephen Hawking comment!
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 9:58, closed)

.
How about a camp mental McDonalds worker that fucks the nuggets?
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 10:37, closed)

Would that make him a fucknugget?
As for Little Britain, it's basically a ruder, less funny, Fast Show wannabe.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 8 Feb 2010, 11:20, closed)

Nice post
Great profile!

Welcome to b3ta,








(you cunt)
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 10:46, closed)

Lots of clickworthyness here!

( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Mon 8 Feb 2010, 13:01, closed)

(thinx)
(Digs out voice chip, bolts to RC dalek model, rubs hands with glee...)
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 13:53, closed)