Punnage
It's entirely my dad's fault that I grew up with an unerring instinct to indulge in puns, particularly the fishy kind (cod in the act, salmon chanted evening, if someone tickles you what you should do is stickleback, etc). Between us we can drag out conversations for hours filled with increasingly elaborate puns, driving my mother and sister slowly insane in the process; a practice which culminated in my arriving home from school a few years ago to a short story written over three pages about fish belonging to the BNP, who get facial tattoos to show their allegiance (the UK-lipped huss. We were doing trees the day before).

I am now a sort-of-grown-up, or at least I don't live at home, and a few months ago I had a nice civilised roast dinner with a few friends. Tragically, just after the meal my housemate mentioned 'soul food', and off I went.

After 'eel meet again', 'ray of light' and a few others I was threatened with violence, so I shut up for five minutes before blaming my condition on the foul influence of uni boys, their drugs, their booze and their prawnography. I was bodily flung out of my own house.

So, so worth it.
(Shinigami, Sun 23 Nov 2008, 2:38, 6 replies)

at least you didn't meantion the controversial
writing of Salmon Rushdie.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 23 Nov 2008, 11:19, closed)

You sound like a poor sole...
with an empty plaice, looking for someone to fillet.
(paof2 Nude might not be rude, but rude could be nude..., Sun 23 Nov 2008, 14:50, closed)

They were
some of the bass-t times of my life.
(Shinigami, Sun 23 Nov 2008, 16:53, closed)

Punday
*Click*. You'll probably know the joke then, with the punchline: "Hans that do dishes feel soft as Gervais with mild, green, furry-lipped squid". I won't repeat it here, unless requested; I do have a halibut of carp-ing on.
(nothingworn didn't eat cheese on, Sun 23 Nov 2008, 23:17, closed)

I do not
know that joke, please expand so I can forward it to my dad and my mum can ban me from visiting the family at Christmas (possibly saying 'enough of the fish puns, for cod's hake'...possibly not).
(Shinigami, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 12:36, closed)

Those jokes were
punbelievable. If someone asked me for sea-life related puns I'd most likely just clam up.
(McDave, Mon 24 Nov 2008, 13:23, closed)