errrrwhy
I have a stereo, I have a kitchen, I have a bathroom, I have a comfy bed. It has a nubile blond thing in it.
Why would I want to spend ANY time in a muddy field, listening to overcranked speakers surrounded by overcranked fuckwits, using plastic boxs full of shit and piss and vomit to take a crap in, eating fucked up shit and having to sleep in a fucking TENT? Why? Well? Why?
Festivals. Don't get it. Sorry.
You're all fucked up. Take more drugs and stop it. Just STOP!
Muppets.
It's like going to a football match. Why? When you could watch it on telly without the pissed cunt screaming racist abuse over your shoulder. And the shit food. etc.
WHY?
Muppets.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:18, 39 replies)

OK, I don't do festivals like this either
but if it's your thing, there's nothing like being there in person.

I hardly ever watch football on telly. I've no interest. But I love being at a live game.

And I like Formula 1. Yes, on television you see every corner in full close up glory. But actually being at the track is immense.

Live events are where it's at.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:23, closed)

Well
You see, I like to get of the house, meet people and have this thing called FUN. Not everyone at a festival is a drug addled and drunk. I've made some very good friends at them. But you would obviously not know that having never ventured outside your house.

What is posted on here are the extremes of festivals. Really, I've never had a bad time at them.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:23, closed)

?
At what point does not having been to a festival (because they are full of twats and mud) mean I have never been out of my house. I hitched round France when I was 17, slept in ditches, cemeteries and toilets, jumped out of cock-shufflers cars at speed, begged outside hypermarkets, stole from restaurants and ran from policemen with guns, discovered caves in the mountains (and naked german girls-that was fun), picked grapes, swam in mountain rivers, lived baby LIVED. What did you do, Oh yeah right, you took the train to Glastocockberry and sang along to a cd you already own. Muppet. In the rain. Muppet. While smoking shoe polish and trying to look cool. Muppet.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:36, closed)

Well
You came across as a stay at home because you were effectivly saying that no matter what, you could have a better time there. Done the whole hitch hiking around thing, albeit in Sweden and Norway. God that was boring. Really, really boring. Mind numbingly boring. Luckily it was just a part of the way while staying ar various people's houses.

I've never been to Glastonbury either. I've been limited to two festivals - the National Student Drama Festival, where I stay in a hotel and drugs are strictly forbidden for the tech crew (but it's still lots of fun), and Bloodstock Open Air. Which is not (that) muddy. Smoking drugs I've grown myself. Saw loads of bands I've never heard of. Saw music I already knew played in a different way - that'sthe great thing about live music. Sang along with it with several thousand people - that's an experiance that can't be described.

Don't write it off just because there are a couple of little things you don't like.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:47, closed)

.
Maybe you should have picked somewhere a little more exciting than Scandinavia. You are talking about countries where newborn children's names must come from a list issued by the government. Hardly hotbeds of anarchistic excitement. Although Sweden does now have a Pirate MEP. I think I might even be able to forgive the boring blonde bastads for ABBA on the strength of that.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:56, closed)

Me girlfriend is swedish
I've been going to france, spain, italy, switzerland and germany since I was six months old. To be frank, although I've not seen anywhere near all of the contries, I find them pretty boring now. Hence going up north instead.

Don't believe the stereotypes about scandinavia. There are certain streets in Malmö and Stockholm I won't walk down after dark. Speaking swedish with an english-skäne accent tend to get them to open up. They're a fun bunch to be around, and bloody scary when they're upset about something.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:06, closed)

At least it stops dickheadish names like 'Chardonnay'
Might be a tad (well, a lot) Danish
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:14, closed)

And
If the only time you have left your house is to attend a "festival" you should seriously consider wrapping your cock in barbed wire and fucking your own ass till you die.
Or, if you are of the other side, a broom handle will do. The barbed wire is NOT optional.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:41, closed)

WOW
You're so cool, you must drive a Honda Accord...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:57, closed)

.
Actually I shit them. See above or possibly below, I am getting confused.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:02, closed)

This explains the issue with festivals
Those chemical toilets would never flush an entire Honda...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:04, closed)

.
Get on top of me or get underneath but please stop jumping about like that. I wonder if the main jets is just too worn. Might explain the lumpy idle and total inability to rev up.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:07, closed)

You sound like loads of fun.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:33, closed)

.
I eat fun and piss laughter. But I shit turds because that's what bumholes are for.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:39, closed)

All I mean is
that because you don't like festivals and football doesn't mean that the people who do are muppets.

What do you enjoy? Because I guarantee there are many things that many others wouldn't. That's all I'm saying.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:54, closed)

.
Are you trying to be rational and all grown up? Because after stripping a lawnmower engine down and rebuilding it about 60907 billion times today and finding that the cock cxxting thing still doesn't work I have to say that I didn't come here to be rational and grown up. I came here to abuse all those who are reading. So ONCE MORE FOR THE CHEAP SEATS
MUPPETS!
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:00, closed)

Have you tried fitting your lawnmower
with the engine from your Honda Accord?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:01, closed)

. I HATE FXXXXXXXXXXXXXXING LAWNMOWERS>
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:02, closed)

Maybe it's time to grow your garden long
That sounded ruder than it was meant to.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:05, closed)

.
Saty in one goddam place!
Fuckit, I'm so angry I'm making spelling mistakes.
OOOh.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:08, closed)

Ha! Fear my ability to multi-thread interweb-type conversations!
(Though this does make me impossible to talk to in real life)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:10, closed)

.
i'm feared

And would have liked to put that in really really small letters but don't know how.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:19, closed)

Ah, I see now.
In that case:

OPINIONS. ONLINE.

And I haven't stripped a lawnmower, ever. I get the gardener to do it for me.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:11, closed)

I believe this would be the correct time...

(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:13, closed)

Well timed, that person.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:14, closed)

.
i stripped your mum/sister/brother/dog 's lawnmower.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:25, closed)

D-
You really must try harder.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:33, closed)

I haven't been to many festivals
but the whole reason that many people do, just like people attend a football match, is for the "vibe". Yes, some events (matches and concerts) suck. Agreed. And the cost of both matches and festivals is a disgrace, but that's the price sadly people are prepared to pay, and it's well over-priced.

BUT

There will be people there who share some of your mind set. They follow the team, they like the ethos of the event, whatever that is.

And it's pleasant, surrounded as we are most of the time by complete strangers or people who don't share our viewpoints, to be amongst like-minded folk.

It's not your thing, for many reasons I understand, but the people there aren't uniformly "muppets" and there are many different types of football grounds and many different types of festival - they're not all Man U and Glastonbury.
( I_Was_Mordred, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:49, closed)

Ooooherh
You said "vibe" and "suck"
perv.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:04, closed)

Well quite frankly...
I LOVE festivals. The chance to be out away from the urban sprawl, everyone letting their hair down and generally having a great time.

If it rains, who cares, it's not like you've not got homes to go to when you get back. If it's sunny then it's a bonus.

Get to watch your favourite bands in the flesh with like minded folk, get to meet new people and form new relationships. Lark about and generally be merry, for the few times a year you get away from the computer (and your Honda Accord) and the daily grind of life. Dance around with complete strangers and generally just havin FUN.

Oh and for the record i hitch hiked around india, so don't give me the high and mighty bollocks. At least you didn't nearly get eaten alive by dogs.

Peace
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:08, closed)

.
I live in a bastard big forest with a shotgun by the door for when the wolves get too close in the winter. And I have offically come >..< that close to shitting myself one evening when I met a wild boar. Although that still wasn't as scary as being crowd control at Chelsea. Wearing an orange vest while standing in front of the South Stand must come close to being eaten by dogs. And would explain the total hatred of all things football ground related.
So not only does the urban sprawl have no meaning to my pure and uplifted soul but also I see your dogs and lay Combat 18.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:12, closed)

.
And if it is too worn I'm bollocksed. Can't fix that with gaffer tape or a hammer.
Arse.
(godisdove I like cheese, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:20, closed)

I'll see your combat 18
with my abduction tale several pages back.

I'll also raise you with yet another abduction tale of mine: Being 'taken' by jewel scam artists and talking my way out of it without getting horribly mutilated or sent on plane from Mumbai to Australia with dodgy jewels. Admittedly it was my own naivety on one part and on the other side of the coin the guys being experienced con men, i suddenly found myself almost alone in an apartment with lots of serious looking men. Persuading me to dance in their 'disco'.

With a hip wound.

100% true.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 2:34, closed)

you are
Napoleon Dynamite, and I claim my five pounds.
(surlygirl spanked your monkey on, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:35, closed)

Each to their own BUT....
If you think a live band is anywhere comparable to lying in your darkened bedroom with headphones on then frankly I pity you. Even ignoring the incredible dynamic of a live band, nothing beats getting out and meeting new people in the glorious sunshine, with plentiful supply of narcotics.

/reminisces over Super Furry Animals at T(2006) in the King Tuts tent, superb lazer/lights show, fantastic LIVE music, fucked up on all sorts of illicit substances.

And on your second point you represent all that is wrong with football today. So called fans who'd rather stay at home than get directly involved with your team. This is ignoring the fact that you're at the mercy of Sky Sports scheduling. Shit Food? Who goes to football for food!?


But then again, each to their own.....
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:35, closed)

Getting bottles of piss thrown randomly on your back by pissed up metallers at Donnington
Need I say more?
Only that I very much agree wth your take on this one. And perhaps also that the respectable decent folk on this thread may actually have only been to Glastonbury in the Sims.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:33, closed)

:)
Oy, my granmother was a muppet!

Why does poeple bother to get upset with this.
I mean even if it is any seriousness to it, aren't you glad that he stays at home so that you won't run into him at some festival.
(WelcomeToCopehagen, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:45, closed)

I'm truly glad you don't go to festivals
As it means I will never meet you at one. In my experience they are a lot of fun and I don't much like being called a muppet by a posturing moron who doesn't know what he's talking about.
1) how exactly do you know, and I quote, that they are 'shit, full of twats and mud' if you've never been, and 2) if you think that staying at home and listening to the cd or watching the match on TV is in any way comparable to the electric atmosphere that is present at every live show I've been to - and by general consensus, most everyone else feels the same buzz - then you are very sadly, almost pitiably mistaken.
(berk, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:42, closed)

.
Dear muppet.
1. I never said I hadn't been.
2. Check your dictionary, under "Muppet" you will find Festival goer.
which kind of proves my point. Doesn't it. Muppet.
(godisdove I like cheese, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:10, closed)