Since I became a parent...
I have used the following phrases:

"How many times do I have to tell you?"
"I'll give you something to cry about in a minute."
"Why can't you behave?"
"Why don't you listen?"
"Put your shoes on NOW."
"No, you can't watch telly because it's dinner time."
"I'm not telling you again."
"Oh, just be quiet."
"Be careful!"
"What do you say?" (expecting either "please" or "sorry")
"Leave your brother alone."

Any of this sound familiar? It does to me...

[EDIT: I missed out a few, including, "and I thought you were [X] years old..."]
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Sat 2 May 2009, 13:09, 5 replies)

.every.single.phrase you mention...
Rings spectacularly true...

Because all of them are regularly bellowed at me...by my wife.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Sat 2 May 2009, 13:28, closed)

you forgot my favourite:
"no, toast does NOT go IN THE DVD PLAYER!"
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 2 May 2009, 18:53, closed)

Actually
the main problem at the moment is stopping my 18-month-old from eating the remote control, or using it as an impromptu hammer.
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Sun 3 May 2009, 17:03, closed)

my sister has 10-month-old twins.
trying to stop them eating each others' feet is always fun.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 3 May 2009, 18:07, closed)

"What do you say?" is for 'thank you' in our family.
My mum still says it to me when I get something. I'm 23 FFS, I think it's Pavlovian by now!

/unresolved parental issues, will leave quietly
( Maladicta, Sat 2 May 2009, 20:10, closed)