Brain on, mouth engaged please
In our family we have a saying about my Nan- “Her heart is in the right place but her brain isn’t”. Brain and mouth often aren’t connected at all with this old lady. And its not a case of a bit of old age dementia and the general nuttiness you can get with the older generation. She has ALWAYS been like this (according to my Mother and Uncle)
If anyone read my answer to last weeks QOTW, its should be apparent that she shouldn’t be allowed to cook. She also shouldn’t be allowed to speak to anyone.
Over the years her brain has concocted several bizarre fantasies about members of our family.

Most memorable were the time she came to our house one breakfast time and threw a newspaper at my Dad screaming “Stop abusing my Grandchildren”. Turns out the Sun or whatever she had been reading had run a story on child abuse and she’d decided my Dad was clearly one of these evil child abusing men. My Mum was livid and made my brother and I (aged about 12 and 6) explain that we weren’t being abused. At 6 I doubt I knew what abuse was…What is more than a bit gutting though is that she continues to tell people how my Dad used to beat me and my brother when we were little- nothing could be further from the truth.

As we grew up things didn’t get any better. She had a massive amount of paranoia that my brother was gay. He’s about the most heterosexual man you’ll ever meet but because he had male friends (wtf?) he was clearly gay in her eyes. Oh and his gayness was a disease that he could be cured of by spouting excerpts from the bible at him. She used to ring my Mum up in the middle of the night crying and telling her to stop by brother from being gay. She just didn’t understand the whole concept of sexuality.

Not even her own husband was safe from her crazy mind. Around the time the Yorkshire ripper was at large she rang my mum in hysterics claiming that Grandad was the ripper and she was going to ring the police and shop him. And how did she know he was the ripper…he’d come into the house carrying a hammer.
My Mum threatened to have her sectioned after that outburst. The police would have taken that so seriously and it would have destroyed my poor little Grandad!

She’s labelled my cousin as a prostitute, My uncle as a serial womaniser, his ex and current wife as horrendous gold diggers and my Mum is just clearly in league with the devil. That said, she does love us all dearly.
Apologies for length but I could spend a day telling you all about my Nan!
(CarryOnKay, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 15:49, Reply)