crap smear
A mate of mine, who passed away a bit unexpectadly last year, had a number of guilty pleasures. Including (but not limited to) walking into a housemates bedroom with a wicked grin on his face, slooowly turning around when his presence was noted, cocking his leg ever so slightly and letting one rip.

Then, to make sure the stench wasn't wasted, he'd hold the door shut from the other side.

(My mate used to eat all sorts of greasy unhealthy shit, and everything ejected from the lower half of his body stank to high hell.)

He also mentioned that a great non-agressive way to deal with people who pissed him off was to use their toilet around the wrong way around.

He told me how his employer (local forklift mechanic) had been a complete cnut, so in retalitation he had taken to crapping in the office toilet sitting the wrong way, ie, facing the cistern. This, he explained, caused a turd smear from 2/3rds the way up the front of the bowl to the centre. As far as i know, he never got busted, and he quit the job soon after. Probably 'cause nobody ever cleaned the toilets.

My guilty pleasure: I collect things when drunk. not going into that.
(unoriginal spluffed so hard it came out her nose on, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 2:29, Reply)