I have a colleague
in the London office of my company who is without doubt one of the worst people I have ever had the misfortune of knowing.

She is devoid of any social skills, tact or humility. Her attitude towards people in general is frankly embarrassing; she looks down on everyone, belittles people for their ignorance (even though she is a fair few milk bottle tops short of a Blue Peter badge) and generally being a gigantic arse. She considers her job to be going to meet bands and going to industry parties whilst neglecting her real duties. She has a face like a smacked arse, with a gigantic hook nose, like a beak. She rubs other peoples faces in the fact she's doing all this by constantly updating her Facebook status saying "I'm going to meet so and so" or "I had such good fun backstage partying with Indiebandaufuckface".

Starting two years ago, I send a £5 pound note in a birthday card to her every year with the text "Here's some money toward the nosejob fund."

Totally petty, spiteful and arrogant. But she deserves it.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:15, 4 replies)

Sounds to me
like you should be canonized for your actions, Saint himjim. This woman probably spends her evenings crying in front of a tv, watching sex and the fucking city, eating maltesers and masturbating.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:21, closed)

I know for a fact
she spends most of her time up her own arse.

But thanks.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:34, closed)

This Christmas
Don't send the £5. Instead buy a hammer and cold chisel bolster and wrap them up as a present :-)
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:46, closed)

skint
Sounds like shes the one a fiver up every year. Next year give her a paper bag with holes cut out of it
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 16:36, closed)