Arse.
I bet you just looked that up though.

Do you have to mash the keyboard with your face to type because you're so busy touching yourself?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 13:42, 1 reply)

No
I have to mash my penis with my face because I'm too busy typing.

It hurts, but it's better than nothing.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 13:44, closed)

Just keep a goat under the desk
All your problems solved.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 13:45, closed)

Goats are too fussy
I need something that's happy to be abused on a near constant basis.

Are you doing anything this afternoon?

Besides hanging around the docks looking for sailors of course.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 13:50, closed)

I did have plans to fellate you
But someone just offered me the chance to drink a pint of their vomit.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 13:53, closed)

Well it's your lucky day then isn't it
How about you combine those two pleasures by pouring vomit all over my erect penis and then sucking it all off?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 13:55, closed)