Foul of the filth
First time I ever went to Glastonbury, in the 80s, I realised on the Friday afternoon that I'd forgotten to go to the bank en route. 'No problem', says my friend, 'Just walk to Shepton Mallet - it's not far.'

Never been in that part of the country before but, undaunted, I set off and being confronted with a crossroads at the entry to the festival, asked a friendly policeman which way to Shepton Mallet.

He looked me up and down and then points along the road to my right, which seemed to stretch on to the horizon. 'That way', he said.

And so, being slightly stoned and completely ignoring the streaming crowd of people carrying straight along the road in front of me, I turned right and started walking into the empty distance. Away from everybody else.

About an hour later I was wondering exactly how far it was going to be to Shepton Mallet when I heard a car engine and a Volvo estate pulled up beside me. An old couple, must have been in their 70s, sat there.

'Where are you going, son?'

'Shepton Mallet.'

'Not that way, you're not. Get in - we'll give you a lift.'

And so, despite my protestation of being quite muddy (we'd arrived the night before and it was a bit rainy - 'Oh, never you mind that, it's only mud...') they drove me all the way to Shepton Mallet and dropped me off more or less outside the bank, just in time to cash a cheque, which shows you how long ago it was.

On the way they asked why I'd walked along that road and I told them the police had directed me that way.

At which point the old woman said: 'Oh, they're bastards, they are. The local police are all right, but they draft loads in from all over the country and they hate being here. You stay as far away from them as you can.'

What lovely people - I'm sure they went well out of their way to see a total stranger right. No idea who they were but I've never forgotten them.

(Sorry, it's also a bit boring but it seems to be that kind of a week...)
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 25 Aug 2014, 16:51, 8 replies)

I like this. It's an actual anecdote with actual things in it that are probably true and which portray at least some parts of humanity in a decent light.
Fuck knows why you posted it on here.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 25 Aug 2014, 17:06, closed)

I'm just showing off.

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 25 Aug 2014, 17:23, closed)

God ... you should be banned or something.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 25 Aug 2014, 17:33, closed)

You should send him some pictures of his kids, the horrid troll.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 25 Aug 2014, 19:54, closed)

I feel like I've let the side down, somehow.

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 25 Aug 2014, 22:13, closed)

Did you go back and punch the copper to teach him a lesson,
just like famous suave internet raconteur RabidRodent?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:50, closed)

Of course not - I'm an honest law-abiding citizen.
As I told the magistrates.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 12:39, closed)

New ending
"When I got to the festival, I got chatting to a local, who had managed to blag free tickets. I mentioned to him the kind old couple, but he just stared back in shock. "Don't you know? That old couple died 40 years ago. They were hit by a police van..."
*shudder*
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:40, closed)