Second!
Oh yes. My week is complete.

Blue ticket abuse.

About once a fortnight or so I get a “pink ticket” from wifey and I am graciously allowed, albeit briefly, to amble down to the local and meet up with a couple of mates for a couple of pints for a couple of hours. I cherish these small windows of freedom as we have a four year old boy with textbook behavioural issues and ten week old twin boys at home, so when all’s said and done it’s good of her to release me occasionally from the seemingly never ending trauma of feeding/changing babies and cajoling their older brother to his bedroom, etc, etc. I never take the piss and arrive home in plenty of time to help her with the next feed as promised, as I’m bright enough to work out that if I carry on doing that I’ll continue to win more pink tickets. It’s not rocket science, and she’d hit the fucking roof if I was even ten minutes later than I’d promised.
A few weeks back when I was pleading for Guinness emancipation wifey got a bit of a face on and said something along the lines of “us girls never get to go out!” The girls in question happen to be the wives of the two mates I go drinking with. So I respond; “why don’t you arrange it with the girls for Friday then and us blokes can look after the kids” (they’ve got ankle biters at home too). It honestly hadn’t occurred to either of the three girls to arrange this before. It seemed that they’d rather play the martyrs whenever the three of us arranged to meet up.
So after about 400 text messages between them over about four days the ladies finally managed to agree on meeting up at 8pm Friday night. After the make up lorries had left our respective better halves tottered down to the pub, no doubt texting each other frantically all the way to see if the other two were there yet. Mine was due back at around 9pm to help me feed the twins. It didn’t give her long at the pub, but she’d assured me she’d be back to help out. Alarm bells started to ring when at 8.55 I had a text from one of the other girls: “hi, could we keep your lovely wife out for one more drink, she really needs the break”. “No worries” – I reply – “I can feed one boy after the other - hope she enjoys it”. Half an hour later a slightly slurry Missus calls to say she’s having a great time and is it ok if she’s back in half an hour? “No problem love, glad you’re enjoying the break”. To cut a long story short, my pissed up mess of a spouse rolls in at midnight, waking up all three kids in the process.
Now if I’d done that……

Honestly. Women. You give ‘em an inch….
( BobbyParadise, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 12:24, 8 replies)

The more she does it
the more you're let off the leash, roll with it for a while, it might work out in your favor.
(knackerz is skinning up, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 2:52, closed)

I can't tell how funny it is.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the last line of most B3ta posts a joke about dick length?

With that in mind, I can't tell how funny it is that you wrote "Women. You give 'em an inch..."
(jessemoya, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 6:11, closed)

You give 'em an inch
every now and again and before you know it you've got three kids.

I thank you
( BobbyParadise, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:19, closed)

"You give ‘em an inch…."
I give 'em eight inches.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:27, closed)

Maybe...
..if you gave her more than an inch she'd come running back sooner? :o)

Only joking, women do seem to have a funny habit of seeing things differently to us!
(robbersdog, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:00, closed)

hmmmmm,
but you go once a fortnight or so (say every 2 weeks) and she doesnt go at all, so if the twins are 10 weeks, and you go every other week for 2 hours, after 10 weeks she is allowed 10 hours, if she met up at 8, she must have left at say half 7, and got back at midnight, this is 4 and half hours, so really she still has 5 and half hours owing.
Not couning what she is owed for the 4 years you have had your boy!!
Point made!
(b3ta_polis, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 23:43, closed)

Thank you Johnny Ball!
That's cleared that up then.
( BobbyParadise, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:42, closed)

You're welcome
x
(b3ta_polis, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 15:19, closed)