Probably not that irrational but......
a few things that make me rage

Cheesy Crisps
They smell like the devil and make your fingers orange. If they do that to your fingers, imagine what they are doing to your insides?
I feel sick if anyone near me is eating them. They smell horrible and it clings to you all day. Vile

Eyes
I don’t have a problem with other peoples – it’s only having mine touched. Or anything near my eyes.
I had my eyebrows threaded once and cried so much she had to stop halfway as she brushed her hand against my eyelashes. *shivers*

Shoes
People who make you take your shoes off when you get into their house.
I haven’t been walking in shit you know

Decking
Why put crappy wood over a lovely garden?

Fell pregnant
People who say they ‘fell’ pregnant
Fell? Did you fall onto a penis and just so happen to get knocked up? No. Then stop saying it you fuckign mong it doesn’t even make sense

Toes / legs
Things going between toes really freaks me out. I can wear flip flops but if something gets trapped between my toes (string, material etc) I totally flip out. My sister used to put things between my toes (mostly playing cards) when I was asleep just to watch my reaction when I woke up. This was mostly screaming.
Also, things on my legs. If my other half happens to put his leg over one of mine at night I go mental. I do the same if I get my leg wrapped up in the duvet at night too.

Chalk
I hate the feeling of chalk on my hands. It’s making me go all goosey just thinking about it.

Maltesers
I hate them. They are nasty dry little shells that stick to the roof of your mouth.

Slamming
What’s wrong with you? Are you a 15 year old sulky hormonal teenager? No. You are a grown adult. Close the door properly you slack handed fucko

Walkers
Or people who don’t know how to walk.
The people who suddenly stop walking at the top of an escalator, or the people who walk out of a shop doorway only to suddenly stop and decide where they are going to next whilst standing right in the exit. Fuckos.
Or the people who decide the middle of a busy high street on a Saturday afternoon is the perfect place to stop and have a chat.
They usually seem surprised when I ask them to ‘move out of the bloody way’

Oyster Card rummagers.
You do the journey every day. It’s not like the Oyster machine is a shock. It hasn’t sprung up over night.
Why on earth do you wait till you get right up to it before rummaging in your bag for your oyster card and manage to hold up everyone behind you? Thickos.
(Nanny Pat vote for me, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 14:03, 12 replies)

We've got decking at the end of our garden.
It's awesome. I like to stand astride it wearing a bandana and eyepatch, and repel the neighbours' cats from boarding.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 14:15, closed)

I read that as banana

(Nanny Pat vote for me, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 14:43, closed)

do you have the same problem with 'fell asleep'
or 'fell in love' or 'fell sick'?
I quite like 'fell pregnant'. It's more expressive than the neutral 'became pregnant' cos it has negative implications.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 14:31, closed)

I think the point is
that it's like 'fell ill' as if you didn't mean to do it... regardless, I think Nanny Pat needs some help.
(dingodrum Drums 'n that., Mon 4 Apr 2011, 14:37, closed)

No. Just 'fell pregnant'
'Fell' pregnant makes it sound like conception happened up against some bins round the back of a Wetherspoons
(Nanny Pat vote for me, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 14:38, closed)

that's exactly why i like it so much
totally agree with you on all the others though.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 15:03, closed)

I agree
with some of these but I'm sorry to say it sounds like you have some serious issues. Good luck.
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 14:36, closed)

I don't think you have issues
and I couldn't agree more with you on the last 3 (my missus slams the door all the time and it DOES MY HEAD IN). I do, however, really like Malteasers.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 15:41, closed)

Shoes
You might not have been walking in shit, but if you have been to a pub of public toilet recently you have probably been wading in piss
(teebie jeebie, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 16:49, closed)

Only in the gents
Ladies generally wee IN the toilet
(Nanny Pat vote for me, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:30, closed)

I went into the garden centre the other day and said to the chap behind the counter "I want decking"
so he hit me :(
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 16:58, closed)

I like 'fell pregnant'
Because it carries the slight implication that it was unplanned...
(mersault, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 17:35, closed)

"... imagine what they are doing to your insides."
Why do people trot this out. I don't know about you -- but the first part of my "insides" that food and drink rest in is a large muscular bag filled with hydrochloric acid and digestive enzymes -- hardly a tender organ in need of protecting from brightly coloured food.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 18:10, closed)

You carry on eating them then


You orange fingered stinky cheesy freak
(Nanny Pat vote for me, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:50, closed)