No flies on me
Several years ago, as a raw young teacher I was pushed to the edge of a nervous breakdown by a particularly unpleasant class of 'behaviourally challenged' kids so in an effort to escape I applied for a job in a nice little school where all the kids were in wheelchairs. Someone told me that my chances of getting the job would be improved by visiting the school beforehand and making a good impression on the headteacher.

I made an appointment but unfortunately on the appointed day I woke up late and looked like being late so I made a hurried grab for the only suit I possessed - my old wedding suit. In the years since the wedding styles had really changed and I realised that I was sporting ultra-wide flares (much too short) and jacket lapels as wide as an ironing board. AND I couldn't find any clean underpants so in my haste decided to do without them.

On arrival at the school I spent half an hour with a very unimpressed-looking headteacher and then trapesed round the school visiting every classroom to meet the other staff, all of whom were female - except the very last one who was male and told me nervously that my flies were undone, revealing a flourishing clump of pubes and a little flash of pink coming from my wedding tackle. I didn't get the job.
(fergus the bogeyman Beware of geeks bearing gifs!, Sat 23 Nov 2013, 11:50, 9 replies)

So you got your cock out in front of a load of disabled kids?
Fliddy fiddling?
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 23 Nov 2013, 15:23, closed)

Suit must've been Savile Row.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 23 Nov 2013, 15:29, closed)

Get out.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 23 Nov 2013, 15:33, closed)

Come back in.
That was good.
(SlantedScience, Sat 23 Nov 2013, 23:56, closed)

^Agreed^

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 12:38, closed)

Nice.

(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Sat 23 Nov 2013, 16:18, closed)

BADUM! TISH!
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 24 Nov 2013, 1:02, closed)

This gets a click from me.
Although from what I remember of teacher's garb, that suit was entirely appropriate if missing some stitched on elbow patches.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 23 Nov 2013, 15:31, closed)

Nice story
but it kind of fell apart about finding underpants. When did clean become an issue for you?
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sun 24 Nov 2013, 13:46, closed)