Seats on the Tube
First some background.

A few years ago, I came off my motorbike and ripped a chunk out of my knee. All superficial damage, but it left a rather nasty scar.

For the strong of stomach, here's a before picture before they stitched it up.

www.theedgeofmadness.com/before.jpg

And an after

www.theedgeofmadness.com/after.jpg

(If anyone is really desperate I can take a 5 year after picture sometime this weekend. It's just a 15 inch long, 2 inch wide curving scar on my knee).

Now it's purely cosmetic, itches slightly sometimes, but no damage to the knee at all. I'm in no pain, can stand, walk run etc 100% fine.

Anyway, I hate standing on the tube. And when I get on, I'll rush past anyone to sit down. (Well almost anyone, the extremely old (past 70), the pregnant and those on crutches I'll give up my seat).

So one day, I'm standing in my usual spot, and I see a middle aged woman getting ready to get on. And I can see it in her eyes, we're going to have a race here.

Get on the tube. There's a seat closer to me. The other woman goes for it. I beat her there by about 2 seconds.

She turns and stares at me. Then starts muttering under her breath. Now there is nothing physically wrong with this woman, she just ran for a seat. She's just as lazy as me.

Without saying a word, and with her staring at me and the other commuters glancing over, I roll up my jeans leg to reveal the nasty scar.

The woman starts to blush. And if I left it at that, it would have been enough. But I couldn't resist being a complete and utter cunt.

"I got that defending my country for ungrateful cows like you!"

(Note, the closest I have been to being in the army is Paintball, so I'm now being a lying bastard of the highest degree). Half the carriage now started to stare at this poor woman, who turned bright red, and bailed down to the next carriage at the next stop.

Yep I'm a lying bastard, but don't get in between me and a tube seat.
(Kaer, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 15:52, 6 replies)

That, sir
Is genius!

*takes leaf out of book*

*clicks*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 16:00, closed)

Oooh, that looks nasty
Have a pity *click*.
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 16:55, closed)

Although I really like this story
I won't be clicking on your photo links.. I've just had a lovely pot of winter fruits muesli and yoghurt for breakfast, which I imagine looks rather similar.
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 9:52, closed)

fives stars
that's great
( olivier8 (euroloon), Fri 30 Nov 2007, 10:05, closed)

Good on ya!
.
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 10:47, closed)

This made me giggle
You were completely in the right to pile it on.*clicks*
(wing_cmdr I mean not real, but almost a real hologram, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 14:59, closed)