come on mm it's well executed

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 18:16, 1 reply)

tl;dr
I probably wouldn't have been so upset if I'd read it work, but as I'd already knocked off for the day, it meant I'd wasted my time, not my employer's.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 22:56, closed)

Calm down, Mr Grumpy Pants. We've all felt the bitter sting of reading an unnecessarily verbose entry, only to find that it was nothing but an excuse for a pun - but you're not exactly new here, so it's at least partly your own fault for not reading the last line of a long post first.

See, what the OP did here was to sucker you in - he's crafted an engrossing tale involving alcohol, sex, and drugs. Nothing highbrow - fuck your Times crosswords, your polite conversation - he's drawn you in with a hedonistic vignette intended to cut through the bullshit of modern life and and appeal directly to the basic, visceral lusts of the human psyche. And you fell for it. Hook, line, sinker, stupid deckchair thing, flask of weak lemon drink, and bivvy. You gulped it all down, and most of the annoyance you feel is annoyance at yourself. You know you should have been better. You know you should have skipped ahead, read that last line, and saved yourself the trouble.

But you couldn't. As soon as your primal hindbrain was made aware of the content, it compelled you to read the rest, hoping for a second-hand fix of all the delights that you may miss in your day-to-day life. And when the end came, when it turned out to be nothing but a clumsy pun - you were upset. Frustrated. It's understandable. But it's not entirely the OP's fault - yes, he laid and baited the trap, but you stepped willingly into it. I don't doubt that the payload came as an unwelcome and irritating surprise, especially once he'd aroused the atavistic elements of your primal nature - but you know you'll come back to it in the future. This is your stash, now. You'll want to read it again, get one more hit, feel the highs just one more time - even if it means enduring the aggravating annoyance of the pun at the end, fresh every time to the slow-learning animal instincts that evolution forgot to redact. Indeed, one might say that this is where your lure id irk store is.

_Gvpyczjppcl
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 23:45, closed)

Not being one to make the same mistake twice,
I've not read the above.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 7 Sep 2013, 11:14, closed)

Spoilsport.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 7 Sep 2013, 11:19, closed)

Glutton for punishment that I am, I've gone back and read what you wrote.
I was upset before, I am literally incandescent, now.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 7 Sep 2013, 21:28, closed)

\o/
Result.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 10:42, closed)

ooh!
can we now use him as a lightsource ?
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:44, closed)