full addiction
Back when I was a young lad I'd heard much talk about this. Being the youngest of 2 boys meant a lot of information was passed down for me to relay to my friends with complete abandonment of what the original story was, just me retelling such tales to sound cool in front of my friends. Yeah, I admit it! And to anyone with older siblings I'm sure you'd understand and agree - you don't get the full facts but become the expert in certain fields in front of your friends.

But, curiousity outgrew me, and I finally had the chance to experiment myself. When I had it in my hands I felt harder than ever, a real coming of age 'aren't I the big man' sort of thing. The feelings were amazing and I relished every minute of it. Back and forth, round and round, my head was swimming and I was in absolute paradise. Even the afterglow of the initial peak of the high was warm and fuzzy, something I had never experienced before and don't think even in times since has been as good.

From then on, I was hooked. It couldn't get enough, and spent far too much time 'chasing the dragon' as I suppose one would call it - trying to find that amazing first time buzz. Sometimes it would feel almost as good, sometimes better, but never enough. It was all I thought about - I could still function and wasn't a complete wreck, but as soon as I got home from school I'd be on it again. Sometimes even at school, sometimes even in public in broad daylight (maybe with a little bit of shelter, I wasn't stupid enough to get caught). I became the typical wanker who almost let it consume his everything. I think I covered it up well in public, but there were certain times when questions were raised - never directly to me, but I knew damn well people were talking about it and what harm I could be doing to myself.

Some adults would mention it to me, taking the 'buddy buddy' routine and saying they'd tried it when they were young too and just don't let it ruin me, some said it was 'evil' and should be washed from my thoughts, but I enjoyed the buzz too much and by now was in far too deep.

Don't get me wrong you hear tales of complete addicts but I was never one of them. I was more into it than a lot of people, I know this now, but as I say I didn't let it ruin my life like some of the stories I've read on this qotw about people having one puff on a joint and the next day dying with a needle in their arm (not that I exaggerate).

As I grew older I was still addicted, but it subsided more and more and I went from 'hitting the pipe' a good couple of times a day to no more than once a day, and even now it's still fairly regularly. I was also single throughout most of my teens, whether it was because of my addiction, or my addiction increased because of it I don't know, but it didn't help. I dated a girl when I was 19 who didn't mind, she said she did it too sometimes (she was older) but I fell head over heels in love with her, and I didn't feel the need as much. I'm trying to figure out how to express why but I don't know the right words, I just didn't need it anymore. I'm sure those who have been that deeply in love will understand where I'm coming from. Still, things were never going to last with her, we both knew that which only served to make it more beautiful, and after we broke up I was back fallen off the wagon again. Girlfriends since have either thought it was a disgusting habit and I'd have to indulge myself far away from them, or sometimes I'd find that special girl who'd understand, even maybe try it themselves and we'd do it together, feeling a connection and intimacy like no other.

I'm 24 now and single again. These days I only crack one off every 2 days or so.
(Mr_Lew, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 22:49, 7 replies)

I'd like it to be known
I'm not really this much of a wanker. xD
(Mr_Lew, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 23:02, closed)

Pull the other one
:x)
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 23:08, closed)

Holy shit
...there's another one?!?!?!
(Mr_Lew, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 23:31, closed)

By the sounds of it, there are three
He's been tossing himself off left, right and centre...
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 9:30, closed)

I saw it coming...

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 10:05, closed)

is that because you were watching ?
(Madmont, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:25, closed)

Got it in the 2nd paragraph.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:02, closed)