The Examination
Girlfriend goes into hospital with severe abdominal pains. Nurses admit her into what appears to be some sort of holding bay for a mix of hypochondriacs, seniles and drunks. After a further 2 hours of nausea and whining the curtain opens to show 2 dashing doctors staring at my bed stricken girlfriend.

Now I have to admit that the younger doctor was clearly of a high caliber of male, higher than I can claim to be with my expanding waist line and plummeting life prospects. To further destroy my ego, the girlfriend starts flirting slightly with said doctor until that is, he mutters the words...

"rectal examination"

and then stares intensely at me. Girlfriend's face goes pale with terror, or excitement - not sure which - but the intense stare forces me to reply.
"I'll just go get a coffee".
Let me tell you, there is no dignity in walking out of a room to let another, better looking, more successful man stick his finger up the arse of the woman you love while another, older man watches.

I returned to the scene of the crime half an hour later to see my girl blushing gently whilst subtly relaying to me "I didnt mind that he stuck his finger up my arse but did he have to wipe it afterwards?"
(Eggstrovert isnt patronising you...honest..., Thu 11 Mar 2010, 13:31, 3 replies)

"It" being...
the arse or the finger?
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 15:52, closed)

the arse
you arse
(Eggstrovert isnt patronising you...honest..., Thu 11 Mar 2010, 16:04, closed)

Hahahahaha!
I'd pay good money for that!
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:03, closed)