An American came to visit
Many years back, I was part of a volunteering group, who were close-knit socially and tended to hang out a lot. One summer, an eager American college student who was a pen friend of one of us came to stay. We welcomed the gushing, grinning lad and took turns in hosting him. He said he wanted to learn all about British culture, so we convinced him that:

* Poking your head out of a car window with a yell of "Wanker!" is a chirpy British greeting.

* Welsh people are called "Whalies" and their currency is "Whale coin". We got him to pop into a bank on the way to Wales to change £40 into whale coin so he'd have some spends. (He was in there a good while before re-emerging, scratching his head and protesting about the manager.)

* The traditional British breakfast is fried bread butties. We had him grinning like a loon while frying hunks of bread, sandwiching between two dry slices and serving them up to bemused guests.

* People playing guitars in subways etc. are immigration agents who work for the police, and they'll arrest anybody with a non-British accent. When seeing them, approach them first, announce your name and country of residence and show them all your papers.

* If striking up conversation with strangers (e.g. on a bus), a good, safe and neutral topic is farts.

...plus other stuff I can't remember. He took it in good spirit, when he eventually sussed us out.
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 9:41, 5 replies)

No.
He went home and told everyone he knew (all a couple of hundred million of them) that all poms were cunts.
That's why your tourism industry is up the shitter.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 10:04, closed)

No, he had a sense of humour and though embarrassed, laughed about it

(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 10:15, closed)

A school friend of my brother's
went to France for his gap year to pick up the lingo. In returned for teaching him how to talk French proper, like what they does, his hosts asked him to teach them some English phrases.

I wonder to this day what reaction the Frenchies got when greeting British people with a cheery "Good morning, you wanker."
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 11:00, closed)

On the subject of France,
just using one term all the time we were there. Points were awarded on annoyance/bemused value.
I don't know the exact spelling, the phrase was "Monsieur, tu a la tete d'un pomme de terre".
Sir, you have the head of a potato. Cringeworthy now, at the time it amused our simple braincells.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 11:53, closed)

My nipples explode with delight!

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 22:52, closed)