A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...*wavy lines*
I used to work in a call centre as I have said several times before on here, anyhoom, I left an important doc on my desk, so rang the work mobile to get the manager to look after it. Not thinking put my phone in my pocket and went out on a date with my flavour of the month. Copious amounts of alcohol later, I stumble through the door with Lee, 5 seconds later we're at it like rabbits, stuff olympic gymnasts would be proud of!
The next morning feeling extremely satisfied, but hungover to hell, I was thanking the Lord Dog Almighty I wasn't in work till 2.
Get ready.
Go in.
Everybody is staring, pointing and sniggering.
So I ask the lad next to me what the hell was going on, 'have a good night last night eh?'
By this point last night was a hazy nightmare away, I'm wondering what the hell I had done while i was out, when my manager comes up to me.

Manager: This is not going to be easy to say.
Santa: What isnt?
Manager: I am taking it you had a lot to drink last night?
Santa: Yeah, why? what the hell is going on with everyone today?
Manager: There was a...voicemail waiting for us on the works mobile this morning. Do you know anything about it?
Santa: Oh god I didnt ring up last night saying how much i love everyone did i? (has happened before)
Manager: No. This was more of an...intimate nature.
Santa: huh?
Manager: Im going to play it for you.
*hands me phone, I listen, tears filling my eyes, face growing redder than a letterbox*
Santa:...
Manager: see?

On that voicemail was about 5 minutes of unedited, porn quality soundtrack. My Phone was in my pocket, We hadnt got fully undressed,Id not locked my phone, and had redialed the last number.
I was so happy I had already booked from the next day the week off. Humiliation didnt even cover it.
Moral of the story? ALWAYS LOCK YOUR PHONE!!!!

Length? Actually quite surprising!
(santas_lil_hohoho is packing her vibrator suitcase, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 3:51, Reply)