I'm haunted.
By the memory of my previous time on the naughty step for doing nothing wrong.
(Legless is a prick., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 7:25, 80 replies)

It's funny how most of the criminals in prison
always proclaim their innocence.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 8:12, closed)

No it isn't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 8:25, closed)

I'm pretty sure I went to school with a guy called
Simon Pate.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 8:29, closed)

I know you did.
My sig is a satirical reference to him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 8:31, closed)

Not any more.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:48, closed)

Are you questioning my innocence you fucking cunt?
At least I don't go on dating sites trying to get laid because I am so unattractive my Mrs has stopped putting out. You sad fat ugly wanker.
(Legless is a prick., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 8:50, closed)

I have a feeling this could be the start of something special.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 8:54, closed)

I really like the civil, calm and in control types.
*fingers crossed*
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 8:59, closed)

Posting spittle-flecked abuse you've copied from another angry interspastic
really helps your case
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:00, closed)

I understand you are a bloke but don't have a penis. Care to explain?

(Legless is a prick., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:01, closed)

Haha, and now some puerile baiting
and your argument is that you're not a troll? Or are you making a case for grounds of diminished responsibility due to severe learning difficulties?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:11, closed)

Please try to remain calm today, Emvee.
I am genuinely starting to worry about you x
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:12, closed)

What did you think of Simon?
He was a bit of a cunt at school.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:20, closed)

Nah he's great. You should give him a second chance.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:22, closed)

I am genuinely curious. Why would you remove your genitals? Did your Daddy touch them and make you feel funny when you were a kid?

(Legless is a prick., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:14, closed)

Do you generally find that this kind of thing works on people with a mental age above 12?
Because I genuinely haven't heard such a pathetic taunt since junior school. You'd lose a battle of wits with my six year-old nephew, mainly due to his cunning use of the rhetorical "I know you are, but what am I?" tactic.

Then again, he cries about being put on the nawty step too :)
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:25, closed)

Did you cry when Daddy used to touch your winky? Or did he just make you suck his?

(Legless is a prick., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:27, closed)

Isn't it amazing how you can recognise the traits?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:32, closed)

I think it's kinda sad
Their natural home would be 4chan but they hang out here because they're too shit-scared of the big kids to leave their tiny little corner of the playground. Mainly because 4chan would eat them for breakfast, shit them out and then piss on them for good measure. It's far easier for them to thrash about on here and then go on facebook saying "LOL I dun trolled b3ta!"
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:55, closed)

Deep breath, Emv.
It'll be alright.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:30, closed)

Ah, a slight variation on the classic "You're upset!"
From "Trolling for dummies", chapter 1, page 1
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:41, closed)

you always come out on top in these encounters Emvee, that's what I like about you
if only your dad was around to share these moments with you
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:44, closed)

aaaand we're back to square one
nice of you to join us Rory, but Shed already did the dad material in this thread
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:54, closed)

Wait?
So Rory is off the step?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:59, closed)

I'm assuming someone forgot to put the brake on his wheelchair

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 11:08, closed)

GOOD JOKE!!!!!!! I GET THIS!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 12:10, closed)

How's your daughter, Monty?
www.b3ta.com/questions/mosthaunted/post1728566
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 12:18, closed)

There's always some weird reason as to why a grotesque man with a penchant for dressing like a twelve year old and with a sexual fetish about kids toys 'enquires' about other peoples kids

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 12:41, closed)

I'm just a concerned citizen
After all, he's shown strong noncing tendencies, it's no wonder her mum wouldn't let him see her
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 12:46, closed)

He's not really a nonce though is he Emvee; beginners he don't dress like a twelve year old with waki t-shits and skate boi shit and all that crap, nor worryingly does he devote his time to sexualising childrens toys
The only nonce in this particular thread apart from ringofyre is you, you mischievous scamp. I sware though, if I even saw you within five feet of my kids I'd do time.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 12:53, closed)

Aw, does your kids' slag mum not let you see them either?
I knew there was a reason you were on here so much. You seem to be getting a little upset.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:01, closed)

GOOD ONE!!!
HE'S ON THE ROPES, EMV!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:05, closed)

FATHERS 4 JUSTICE!
and noncing our own kids
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:06, closed)

I'M WARNING YOU, SERIOUSLY I KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT WEARING A BALLOON AS A DISGUISE
STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLES KIDS AND STOP ASKING ABOUT FORUM POSTERS KIDS, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE SAT IN YOUR LONELY FINSBURY PARK BEDSIT WITH YOUR PANTS ROUND YOUR ANKLES YOU GROTESQUE MAN
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:06, closed)

Definitely UPSET

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:07, closed)

BAM!!! SUPLEX!!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:09, closed)

IM ALWAYS UPSET WITH PEDERASTS
ITS JUST A BIT OF FUN TO YOU, YOU'VE GOT NO DAD YOU DON'T CARE, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL LUST FOR PEOPLES CHILDREN HERE
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:17, closed)

Hahahahahaha
stop crying Rory
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:19, closed)

POW!!!! HALF NELSON!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:20, closed)

I knew I'd seen this face creeping round the bushes in Finsbury Park
www.flickr.com/photos/james_godwin/5772615168/
PURE PEEDO
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:23, closed)

Fucking hell proper Child-catcher job innee.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:25, closed)

Obviously.
In a photo, taken in a pub, at a party, with only adults present.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:28, closed)

I didn't think it was possible to look both sinister and creepy
AND like special needer who's just wet himself, at the same time.

How'd you do it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:32, closed)

Christ, look who's talking
That moustache makes you look like a retarded Chuckle brother
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:45, closed)

KAPOWWWW!!!! ANOTHER STRIKE FOR THE EMV-MEISTER!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:49, closed)

totes

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:28, closed)

Good luck with your next attempt to see your kids

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:28, closed)

OOOF!!!! PILEDRIVER!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:29, closed)

It's more amusing when I post your picture, not some rubbish from google
People in the North London area know who to look out for when they're dropping their kids off at nursery, or more importantly down Finsbury Park
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:31, closed)

Aw, poor angry little shouty man
can't touch his own kids
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:39, closed)

BLAOWWW!!! UPPERCUT!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:42, closed)

I like these,
but it's no JMG.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 14:20, closed)

Looks like a cunt, acts like a cunt. So guess what?







You're definitely a cunt.
(Legless is a prick., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 16:29, closed)

I am genuinely a bit worried about you m8.
There are people you can talk to, you know - you don't have to do this alone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 12:55, closed)

Nah it's been great
I've learned so much today about the terrible effects preventing a father from touching his kids can have on a man's mental health, but at the same time gained a valuable insight into why the mothers do it. It's been educational, thanks.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 14:17, closed)

SHAZAM!!!! CLOTHESLINE!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 15:12, closed)

I also just found a photo of Rory
I think I've actually ruptured something laughing

Sorry, lemme get this straight, the nonce who criticises my fashion sense for wearing a T-shirt with a swear word on it goes out in public with a circled "A" drawn on his head in blue pen? Are you fucking shitting me?



Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Is it my birthday or something?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 15:18, closed)

That isn't Rory you oaf.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 15:42, closed)

Your chum Lord Scrope uploaded it
Rory didn't deny it
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 15:47, closed)

You witless turd.
Imagine, right – just imagine – someone finds a picture of a complete spastic and uploads it to the internet, claiming it’s a picture of someone else, for a joke. Can you imagine that? You can imagine having sex with a robot car so surely this is something you can grasp, no?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 15:51, closed)

I'm genuinely curious
What was it that first attracted you to your daughter's slaggy, layabout, crackhead mother?

And at what point did you decide she'd be the perfect mother for your precious widdle child?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 16:02, closed)

BOOM!!!!!! LEG DROP!!!!!!!
I'm going to need you to shut up soon, I'm running out of wrestling moves.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 16:14, closed)

also
KERPLOWIE!!!!!NECKBREAKER!!!!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 15:43, closed)

Dude,
Don't get wound up by this - you're being baited by a comedy account known as 'shed'. It's like the ghosts in this week's QOTW - if you ignore them , they will go away (you don't have to use ignore 2.0 - what I mean is, don't let it all get to you so much).
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 15:46, closed)

I am not a 'comedy account'.
I'm not amusing enough.
(Legless is a prick., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 16:30, closed)

no shed
but you are a spacker
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 15:13, closed)

Thanks pieman. That means a lot. xxxxx

(Legless is a prick., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 16:28, closed)

I Love you too shed
xxx
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 11:09, closed)

I suppose, as an Australian, you'd have a unique insight into the criminal mind.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:31, closed)

Jesus I shot my Pommie grandad down with that 1 about 27 years ago. As he had made pretty much the same comment.
Where did those criminals come from?

Due to over-crowding.
Because there were so many criminals they had to send them somewhere else.

Cause it's like the Great British Empire did so many good deeds and garnered so much good faith where-ever they went.

EDIT: I am a Naturalised Australian Citizen. Having lived here for 30 odd years I consider this my homeland & always will be.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:37, closed)

Nobody cares, criminal scum.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:48, closed)

Spoken like a true class conscious Pom.
Bet you wish your side of the family still got invited to the Hunt at the House.
Pity you managed to tarnish the family name.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:53, closed)

Actually Brian
In about a decade or so, these 'criminals' from Oz will own you and the Queen. Australia's where it's at and will be for a long time - look at the exchange rates - when I was first in Oz, it was about AUD$2.5 to the pound. Now it's more like AUD$1.5 to the pound... Australia will do alright for a long time because it's resource heavy and population light.

Not bad for a bunch of criminals, eh?
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 15:37, closed)

Hahahahahah, yeah right.
The Chinese will own the whole of Australia by then.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 14 Sep 2012, 17:15, closed)

Pfft, top internet comedy right there.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 16 Sep 2012, 11:58, closed)

This highlight's everything that is wrong with Ignore2.0

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:04, closed)

If you feel the need to use the ignore button then you really have a thin skin.

(Legless is a prick., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:07, closed)

He shoots...
And misses.
"Again?" asks the crowd.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:19, closed)

Still *definitely not* upset about that?

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 13:34, closed)

Poor shed.
:(
JUSTICE FOR THE SHEDBOROUGH 1!
EXPOSE THE MOD COVER-UP!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 14 Sep 2012, 17:21, closed)