Body Horror
God was drunk when he made me. I have a nonmalignant brain tumour, IBS, fibromyalgia and two types of migraine along with gynae trouble that even other women get all squicky about... But the nastiest thing yet happened to me about two hours ago.

I am a jeweler and this morning I was setting a stone. I was putting rather a lot of pressure on a tool made of a sliver of steel, which unbeknownst, was flawed.

It snapped with enough force to rip my fake and real nail almost completely off. The very nice ambulance man gave me gas and air (which is goooood shit, believe you me, and a fine substance with which, due to my various ills, I am well acquainted) so that he could pull it off completely as leaving the mm or so left would just catch on everything and be a nuisance.

So today I got to watch some bloke rip my finger nail off.

Is my index finger on my right hand for extra inconvenience.

Since I take massive pain meds as due course due to being a lazy cripple, I didn't raise much of a fuss, so my colleagues think I'm well hard. On the phone to my better half in the loo, however, I was a blubbering mess.

Edit: the root of your nail, ie, the bit under the cuticle is surprisingly long, many mm, thus how dead folks' nails seem to grow as the skin rots and draws up.
(Odinsdottir wants to tell you about her cats, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 15:02, 8 replies)

fake nails
I wear fake nails in part to protect my fingertips and nails. Plus they're pretty. They've saved me from serious injury a good few times.
(Odinsdottir wants to tell you about her cats, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 15:10, closed)

The most impressive thing is
...that despite a serious and painful finger injury, you still wanted to type this to tell us about it.

I imagine you wincing and grunting with pain, as you laboriously whack each key in turn with a bloody, bandaged stump.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 16:47, closed)

Stumpy
Yeah, blood everywhere and all. Laptop totally ruined. But so worth it to get b3ta love.
(Odinsdottir wants to tell you about her cats, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 19:27, closed)

You called an ambulance for a broken nail?

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 17:56, closed)

I suppose you'd prefer it if they went to people who were in danger of dying, eh?
I've paid my fair share of NI over the years and not called an ambulance for myself once, think I'm probably overdue a visit.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 18:22, closed)

Ambulance
It's workshop policy. I couldn't stop them. We get all manner of injuries from the minor to the life-threatening, so they called up, said, look, it's seriously minor, do you want to see her, and they did. There are medics on bikes all over Central London at all times. Mainly for this kind of pansy arsed thing.
(Odinsdottir wants to tell you about her cats, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 19:25, closed)

I think, if anything, you're proof that there is no god.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 3 Aug 2013, 9:00, closed)

Clearly.
(Odinsdottir wants to tell you about her cats, Sat 3 Aug 2013, 21:19, closed)