My mum’s a bit absent-minded
As a baby, she left me in my pushchair in a restaurant. As she walked down the street, the restaurant staff called out after her, “Mrs! Mrs! You forget something!” My mother whirled round in a panic. “Oh my god,” she cried. “My handbag!”

She had to call in sick to work after mixing up her vitamin B complex tablet with the dog’s epileptic medicine. Twice.

Once, she rang home and I answered the phone. She was obviously in a rush. “What do you want?” she asked impatiently.

If we can’t find anything in the house, like the phone or TV remote, it’s wise to check the fridge because there’s a good chance that’s where she’s put it.

I asked her if she’d ever smoked pot. After a long, strained pause, she turned to my father. “Have I?” she asked.

She will spend as long as it takes to explain exactly why, if it takes three men three days to dig a hole, it will take them one and a half days to dig half a hole.

It took her five hours to get from London to Bristol because motorways bore her.

She drove to the country for a walk with the dog and phoned to say she’d lost it. It was still at home.

But the world’s news is safe in her hands. Promise.
(threadkiller, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 3:40, 2 replies)

But the world’s news is safe in her hands. Promise
Is your mum Fiona Bruce? If so, can you post pics? Preferably holiday snaps on a beach somewhere.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 12:37, closed)

clicks for
She drove to the country for a walk with the dog and phoned to say she’d lost it. It was still at home.

grins
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 18:05, closed)