Piss
Almost every weekday I wake up to the following situation: I need a piss, quite badly, and my house-mate is in the shower (and thus preventing me from accessing the only available toilet).

Knowing that she takes bloody ages in the bathroom, I have now taken to donning my dressing-gown, walking downstairs and pissing into an empty bottle whilst I'm waiting for the coffee to brew.

I haven't been caught yet but I feel the day will inevitably come on which the aforementioned bathroom-hogger's better half will wander into the kitchen to see me looking sheepish with my cock in a bottle.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 21:33, 16 replies)

I usually go behind the shed in these situations.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 21:48, closed)

Or get up a bit earlier/later.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 21:55, closed)

Getting up later
would not be possible as I already only just get to work on time. Getting up earlier would mean getting up roughly an hour earlier (yes she does take that long), so fuck that.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 19:15, closed)

take a bottle up with you at night
then they won't catch you filling it in the morning
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 22:18, closed)

^this^

( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 30 Jan 2011, 22:33, closed)

What's with the bottle?
Do you not have a kitchen sink?
(madsporkmurderer, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 22:20, closed)

^or perhaps this^

( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 30 Jan 2011, 22:34, closed)

Remember your manners
A gentleman removes the washing-up first.
( Ghoti Fingers, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 8:27, closed)

Only matters
if it's already clean.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 8:34, closed)

if you leave the tap running its fine
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 10:50, closed)

kitchen sink

( rofl harris, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 10:14, closed)

Use the old empty mug trick, can be safely tipped in sink even when someone's there
Only problem is when it comes habitual that you forget what you are doing. I used to be quite partial to any old cold cup of tea in the morning until one day......
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 13:27, closed)

hopefully the mug'd be big enough...

( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:42, closed)

^this^
I've cut it fine a couple of times with a litre bottle....

Oh and I'm not pissing in the kitchen sink. It just feels wrong. And it would be much more embarrassing if I was caught, not least for the odd position I would have to be in in order to do that.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 19:13, closed)

Just pull up a chair, and stand on it. Aim for the drain.
(Turtlenuts, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 20:15, closed)

Just stand on tip toes
Make sure you dont leave any pubes on the sink edge though
(boarders You won't catch me with my trousers, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 21:57, closed)