Me and my horse have an abusive relationship.
She's the abuser. I do my best to show her love while she does her best to find a variety of new ways to hurt me, I've tried calling the RSPCA on her but apparently it doesn't work like that. She's a hormonal, accident prone nightmare with skin like filo pastry and a very low pain threshold; her default setting is violence first, remorse later so quick reflexes are often vital to my continued survival.

The worst she's ever got me was after trying to complete a set of exercises suggested by an equine physio to help with lameness in her hind legs. It involved picking up her foot and tracing small circles in the air to help loosen her up and doing this was either going to make things better or worse. Well it made her worse and her default reaction to pain is quite understandably to lash out.

So that course of action was swiftly abandoned but I still needed to pick up her hind feet without having my face kicked clean off my skull. I needed to get close enough to let her know that I wasn't going to hurt her every time I touched her leg so I got a friend to hold up one of her front legs (while dodging her teeth) so that she couldn't pick up a back leg to kick with. Well that's the theory anyway. What actually happened was she was prepared to throw herself on the floor if it meant me ending up in pain as well. So 450kg of horse culminating in an iron shod hoof managed to jump on three legs onto my five toes, which smarted a little.

Then I was left with the dilemma of how to move her off my toes without getting kicked.
(Brambly Slag is strangely attracted to Steve Buscemi, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 20:23, 3 replies)

Sounds like
My kind of horse :)
(Gazelle Wasn't here on, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 21:26, closed)

I wouldn't have her any other way.
(Brambly Slag is strangely attracted to Steve Buscemi, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 21:29, closed)

I have plenty horse injury stories
All boring compared to the nature of b3ta :D
(Gazelle Wasn't here on, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 21:32, closed)