Lies that got out of controlEver claimed you could speak a foreign language to impress friends, colleagues and/or get laid? Make a twat of yourself - and I couldn't possibly comment - saying you were the godson of the chairman of BP? Tell us how your porkies have caught up with you
(Thanks to augsav and Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic for the suggestions)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 13:03)
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A lie that got out of hand ...I use an artificial left arm, and have had a lot of fun over the years answering the question 'how did you lose your arm?'
Never more so than in a pub in Putney many moons ago, chatting at the bar to a couple local hard nuts who looked like Phil and Grant in Eastenders.
Anyway, the question comes up, and, inspired I say something along the lines of ... "well, I'm a Chelsea fan innit, got it cut off with a machete at Fulham Broadway tube station a few years ago in a ruckus with Millwall ..."
Cue much back slapping and several pints bought, and the night becomes a blur.
Next day I'm in the pub again, and the barman goes 'You know who you were talking with last night, don't you?'
'No' says I.
'They were the Stevens brothers! Notorious small time South London crime family. If they ever find out you were taking the piss mate, they'll properly machete your other arm off!'
So, I never drank in there again, and now only use the old crocodile wrestling story ...
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 13:35, 4 replies)
So how did youreally lose the arm?
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 13:53, closed)
heheI suspect he has two very much working arms :) Only because of the fictional "Steven's Brothers"
Good story though.
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 15:19, closed)
BwahahaOh that's classic that is
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 14:17, closed)
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