Customers.
Right, this is a huge rant of mine, so just bear with me. I'm 17 and a checkout supervisor at my local supermarket. In the year-and-a-bit that I've been working there, I have come to the conclusion that ALL customers have an IQ of about 12. They have to be some of the most inane cunts of this planet. Here are some examples...

- Just because the express checkout is named as such, all fucking TWENTY of you lining up there at once, when there are, in fact, THREE large checkouts open and free, is not going to make it very fast, is it? So coming up to me when you FINALLY get to the front of the line and remarking "goodness, what a long wait" is NOT going to earn you any sympathy from me. DO NOT use the express checkout!

- We have a discount card called a OneCard. You must swipe this card before you can find out the total price of your order. So, of course, I ask "Have you a OneCard today?" Customer swipes their card. I say, "That'll be $15.95 thank you". Them: "Did the OneCard go through??" Would I be telling you the price if it hadn't? Surely I would ask you to swipe the card again??

- On a similar note, there is a very clear diagram of which way around your card is supposed to be swiped. Use your eyes, you fucking twats.

- If you did not require a trolley when you came in, you do not require one on the way out. Taking the trolley off the end of my checkout will NOT earn you any happy smiles from me.

- At the bulk buy section, there is a lovely little sign which tells you to take a plastic seal and clearly write the 4-digit number on the seal, and attach it to the bag. So WHY must you come up to the checkouts with NO SEAL ON THE BAG? How thick are you??

- If you come up to me and ask me how much something costs, I will have to go and price-check it. I do not memorise the price of every product in the store, so don't you go sighing at me!

- If you are on your mobile phone at checkouts, I will still talk to you. Loudly. "HI! HOW ARE YOU TODAY? HAVE YOU A ONECARD?" Checkout operators are people too. A mere "Hello" would be appreciated.

- If you put your items on the conveyer in a higgledy-piggledy order, it will be packed as such. If you put your bread/eggs on first, don't complain to me when I squash it.

- Just because I work at a supermarket does NOT make me a moron. I am 17, do you really expect me to be a brain surgeon? Treat me with some respect please.

- Keep your children away from me. I do not want their revolting, grubby hands all over my checkout. And your kid is not cute, it looks just the same as every other snot-nosed, dribbly little spawn of Satan in the world, so fuck off.

Having said that, if you are friendly and courteous, you will be treated very well by me. I will go out of my way to help you if you are polite, and will engage in friendly conversation with you. Being a good customer really does get you a long way! The cliche "treat others how you would like to be treated" actually does apply with me. So bear that in mind next time you visit your local supermarket!

Length, etc...you love it.
(Captain Communism isn't any sort of communist., Fri 2 May 2008, 8:07, 4 replies)

I wish
I could tell you it gets better...

I currently work in the "Customer Support" department for a Large IT firm in London. I frequently get idiots like that. I get people asking me the usernames and passwords to their servers. I look after 200+ servers, why am i going to remember YOUR username and password?

The thing about treating people with respect, it's very true. I get people being extraordinarily pissy with me and i do not understand it. I am here to help them, all they can do is treat me with a bit of respect?

Alas, it is not to bed, and when you get to the desk/office corporate environment people backstab more than school. Life's great uh?

(Oh, i am moving out of CS, i am becoming one of two primary Network Administrators! Woo! I can lock myself in the server room).
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Fri 2 May 2008, 8:56, closed)

"goodness, what a long wait"
... is a quaint and polite English way of saying "WHY HAVE YOU ONLY GOT ONE EXPRESS CHECKOUT ON WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED MORE YOU BUNCH OF MORONS!" I'm sure you'll agree that the polite way is more pleasant on the ear.

And as for "The cliche "treat others how you would like to be treated" actually does apply with me. "

... only in one direction, methinks?
(patently Was somewhere else on, Fri 2 May 2008, 9:10, closed)

I get what you mean
about respect, when I worked as a checkout and customer service lady, the tills went down one day so I reached for a calculator. the customer said plainly and clearly to me
"I guess that's why you're still working here then"
I was in college at the time and about to go to uni and I very nearly informed him of the fact that once I've finished my academia I would end up in a better, higher paid job that this little scrawny idiot wouldn't even dream of. so I can't do mental arithmatic for your entire shop, its quicker with a calculator.

I wish they'd get a life!

Edit - I actually am starting that better job I mentioned next week!
(Katzilla Follow Me! @Kat_Zilla (I don't promise funnehs), Fri 2 May 2008, 10:12, closed)

patently...
I would understand them if there were no other checkouts open. There are usually at least 3 FREE checkouts, and they all insist on lining up at ONE express checkout. Just because you only have two items doesn't mean you HAVE to go through express!!! Express is a lot slower anyhow, because the scanner only scans on one axis.

And no. I'll let the customer dictate it. If he/she is rude to me, I'll be rude right back. If they're nice, I'll treat them extra-nicely. This has got me a couple of customer service awards in my time.

EDIT: Katzilla, one customer did almost the exact same thing to me!! I got my calculator out and got the most patronising look. Shocking.
(Captain Communism isn't any sort of communist., Sun 4 May 2008, 2:41, closed)