BILL
Well we had dating for a few weeks, he was a few years older than me, about 24 I was 17.
Bill seemed attentive, sensitive, smelled good and looked like an axe murderer ( that's how i like em ) He had a job money and a car and his own place too. All seemed good!
Then I was invited to a neighbours party. An 18th birthday party round someone’s house. My first opportunity to introduce him to my chums! It was your usual house party. Couples in the bedrooms, spliffs in the kitchen, drunk people dancing to Wham and vast amounts of booze. I knew most of the people there, but bill knew none of them. I had been chatting with my girly chums in the front garden while Bill ( i thought) was spliffing it in the kitchen. Imagine my surprise when all of a sudden bill pulled up outside in his car. He got out and was carrying one of the pair of samurai swords he had hanging on his bedroom wall. He stood on the pavement and did some godawfulembarrasing ninja swordfoolery accompanied by squealy ninja type nnngggggggggggggggg noises.
Now I’m not one to blush, but fuck me I was glowing with shame. It took me quite some time to calm mad bill down and get him to go back home as opposed to ninja slicing his way thru the entire party crowd. I still to this day have no idea who upset him or how.... but that was the last time I saw bill. It scared the shit out of me and I hid indoors for 2 weeks worried I was gonna get ninja sworded for telling him it was over.
I found out a while later that bill was actually a loony psyco who tended to get stabby slicey for no apparent reason and had used his swords on many occasions.
Im just pleased i didnt invite him home for Sunday dinner.
(a girl called harry, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 13:32, 8 replies)

i don't know...
the roast would have been carved nicely.
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 13:39, closed)

Bastard you got there before me.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 13:41, closed)

^this^

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 13:45, closed)

^and me^

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 14:06, closed)

^same here

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 14:36, closed)

not me
but I love a queue
( rofl harris, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 17:24, closed)

Tell me....
Did you make a list of the members of his gang, then murder them one by one, as well as an entire Japanese triad? Then track him down and use the 5 point heart star move on him?

And did you then sell your story to Quentin Tarantino?

No? OK.
(GoodLord doesn't have time for sigs., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 16:55, closed)

I enjoyed...
'...I was gonna get ninja sworded for telling him it was over...'

'Ninja sworded...'!
(Chopsey, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 17:57, closed)