DGM. Know what it stands for?
DON'T GET MARRIED.

Seriously, kids. How many young uns do you know who pop the question just so the girl can have a day dressed as a deflated meringue and spend 8 thousand quid on getting the pageboy's y-fronts to match the upholstery of the car?

How many of your friends and parents are divorced, or are married but unhappy, or having affairs?

It's what I say to all my 30-something mates now. DGM. The statistics say it will end in divorce. DBAS. And that stands for Don't Become Another Statistic. Arguing over who gets the George Foreman Grill.
(Radio Vicky Anyone cool Brits live in Ibiza?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 22:09, 29 replies)

my parents
41 years married, they still act like they're on honeymoon.
not all marriages go tits up, you know.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 22:12, closed)

Exactly.

Pick the right person - and BE the right person. You have to work on these things.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 22:15, closed)

^This.
We're happy - two kids, six years of being married.
I'm always amused by the whole "It happened to me, so it will happen to everyone" stream of advice...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 27 Oct 2010, 22:54, closed)

Terms and conditions apply - marriages built in the olden days don't count.

(Radio Vicky Anyone cool Brits live in Ibiza?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 22:19, closed)

^^Bullshit
I have an Aunt and Uncle who have been married for 40 years and loathe each other. Google the term Irish Divorce before you make a blanket statement like that.
(Que?, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 0:06, closed)

Ditto.
Well, 37 or so years, their marriage is something I aspire to. They love and respect each other more each day.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 10:28, closed)

I'd like to get married
If I find a girl who'll let me buy her a George Foreman Grill.
( Claws of Doom I am no longer infected, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 22:14, closed)

Sounds
like a plan.
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 22:22, closed)

Seriously though, if I suck you off, will you give me a deposit on a house?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 23:26, closed)

not like you to ask for a reward beforehand.
usually Daddy just tells you to get on with it.
(nimrodihnio making gravy for one., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 23:59, closed)

Maybe he's holding out for a double-teaming
What's your position on house-sharing?
(littlesunshine licked your blinky diodes on, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 1:00, closed)

Oh yes
Don't confuse a wedding with a marriage. One lasts a day. The other til death us do part. Apparently.
(Bitter and Twisted, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 22:52, closed)

I got the grill.
She took my soul.
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 22:56, closed)

Sounds like the start of a great blues song

( Chum Gnomesky Nom Chompsky, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 3:57, closed)

What?
I can get a George Foreman grill!
Where do I sign?
( Mr Nerdy-Speccy-FuckNuts Ouchy ouchy wa wa!, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 23:07, closed)

Somebody sounds like he has a girlfriend that's pressuring him
And he's trying to find any reason not to commit and doing research to back it up.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 23:36, closed)

It's not ...
Prince Willy is it?
(Que?, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 0:07, closed)

OH SHIT
those are my actual initials.

This explains a lot.
( intesvensk can't recall when I last checked the newsletter, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 0:07, closed)

And for my tuppence ...
On Sunday, my own marriage will have outlasted that of my parents. Yes, they were married on Halloween. Stupid idea all round.
(Que?, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 0:09, closed)

Get out now....
...there's still time!
(Tighthead, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 7:29, closed)

As someone
who's just cracked the 20 year happily married mark, I can only say this post is WRONG.
A stable relationship gives you the support you need to get through the crap in life.
And, no, it hasn't all been plain sailing, but you work it out. That's what being a grown-up is about.

Oh, and our GF grill is in the garage. Pile of crap can't cook sausages worth shit.....
(greatoldone Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl f'tagn, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:55, closed)

what she said

(mersault, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 10:22, closed)

I let her have the George Foreman
I got something far more important - my life back.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:58, closed)

Wrong.
No-one I know got married for the Wedding, they got married because they love each other and want to commit to each other.

Your outlook is horribly cynical.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 10:31, closed)

Sorry, But...
You're talking badly generalised crap.

15 years after we first met, I got together with my partner. We'll be married next year. Yes, we're having a Church wedding, but I'd settle for getting married in a field [if her parents would allow it.]

There's no-one else I'd rather be with, and I never want her to go away.
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 10:34, closed)

so why marriage?
to paraphrase Doug Stanhope, "We've got a great relationship, there's just one thing missing...let's get the church and state involved with this!"

I really don't get that part
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 11:59, closed)

Mr Foremans grill things are on offer in Tesco these days..

the 5 portion one (hurr hurr) comes in at around 30e..so if you're getting divorced...let the ex off with the foreman..buy a new one for yourself..

Argument avoided..win!
(wankymcwankwank Eels, tobacconists, hovercraft and bouncy bouncy., Thu 28 Oct 2010, 10:50, closed)

Or alternatively
just bludgeon her to death with the aforementioned grill. Give it a quick clean, and it's ready to use again.

The hot plates are dishwasher safe, so it's a result all round.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Oct 2010, 11:44, closed)

Pffft.
Clearly you've never met Mrs Vagabond.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 11:29, closed)