Two Spring to Mind
I've been to a few British towns in the last few years for various reasons. The two I never want to see again are:

Doncaster:
It smells.
Every other building is a rancid kebab shop (possibly why it smells, I don't know).
Almost every time I've been I've seen fights. The very first time I went it was Tramps At War. They were fighting over a football. One claimed victory by chundering on it.

Derby:
It smells.
Everyone has a mental handicap and apparently needs 5p for the phone.
For some reason, they pronounce 'cold' as 'code'. Possibly due to aforementioned mental handicaps.
They all aspire to move to Nottingham. See notes on mental handicap above.
Basically, I've become convinced that Derby is a massive day care centre of some sort.

Another honourable mention goes to Rotherham- Tango is not one of your five-a-day, you fat cunt!
(pharmatron Death or Scunthorpe? CHOOSE!!, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 1:29, 5 replies)

The best thing about Doncaster is that it's a major rail interchange - so you can go somewhere else quickly.
Plus, it's quite an effective buffer zone between Humberside and civilisation.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 16:32, closed)

Hmm
Having grown up in rotherham, with most of my family in doncaster, and currently living in Derby- i feel it would be rude not to comment.
I live in Derby through choice, because it is the place i feel most comfortable, safe and happy in. There's shit areas, as there is in most towns, but there is also an eclectic tapestry of architecture, just about everything you could want packaged into a small and friendly city that none the less has all the advantages of a big town. Plus, drive five minutes out and you start to see the breathtaking sights and experiences of the peak district.
I'd be very surprised if you found even one person around here who aspires to move to Nottingham, there's massive rivalry and loyalty to their own city between the two, plus property value is about a third lower there, crime rates almost twice as high and violence a very real issue for most of the city.
Derby is also the site of the biggest, friendliest and popular annual B3ta bash (that isn't /talk board only or London based) btw, what more could you ask? ;)

You're right about doncaster/rotherham though. Even the relatively posh area i moved away from when i was about 11 appears to be a used needle depository these days.

Apologies for format, i'm at work on my phone.
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 16:47, closed)

It's not that friendly
If you happen to be a distressed teenager standing on the roof of the Eagle Centre if memory serves...

Lots of BNP fans, too. Lots of those all over the East Midlands in fact.

Fair enough if you like living there. I still think it's a care in the community scheme gone dreadfully wrong.
(pharmatron Death or Scunthorpe? CHOOSE!!, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 21:46, closed)

Having lived in Derby now for...
6 years, it is indeed full of people with mental handicaps. They're on day release from the Kingsway looney bin and wonder down to town (not really a city is it)to either beg or piss 'normal' people off. But they're not as annoying as the now growing homeless population who if you talk to have moved into Derby from places as far as Glasgow. Yes it is a pretty place.
I'm moving to Notts in a few months...

Hi Jessie!
( Monsieur Monster I heard Seriously talk the first time. in here., Sun 1 Nov 2009, 22:41, closed)

Hahah!
Kingsway isn't a (residential) mental hospital anymore you mong, and I've actually thought that the homeless population was decreasing recently, though I don't really go out in town on an evening so much anymore (I would say that I got bored of the bars but I was never that into that scene).

Worst thing about town is 'clipboard alley', they've lost their pace a little since the Westfield opened but still patrol the run from HSBC to the church with their 'could you spare a few seconds...'

NO I FUCKING CAN'T, LEAVE ME ALONE

If I wanted to apply for your catalogue or sign up for your charity I would do it myself, thank you.
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:55, closed)