Things that go bump in the night.
I once met a couple at Perth Airport in OZ. We were all waiting for a shuttle bus into the city and ended up sitting next to each other. He was very heard of hearing with two hearing aids, and she was completely deaf- They'd met at a school in America. We discussed where we'd been backpacking and what we planned to see in Australia, that kind of thing. At one point I rather insensitively mentioned how I hadn't quite got used to sleeping in dorm rooms full of other people, and the noise kept me awake. I was informed that this wasn't an issue for them.......because they always got their own room.

We ended up staying at the same hostel that night- they got a double room and I ended up in a dorm room next to it. They were apparently separated by a very thin wall as later that night we were treated to a noise that I can't accurately describe, but try to imagine Chewbacca butchering a live sealion. It went on for what seemed like ages and the inhabitants of the dormitory became quite worried for the poor creature that was making this other-worldly howl.

The couple sat with me while we had breakfast and mentioned that they thought the strange looks they were getting were of an anti-deaf nature and felt quite upset by them. I felt really bad saying that these looks were actually based on the incredibly loud noises his girlfriend made whilst having sex. Him then turning to her and explaining the situation through sign language, and the face she made upon its realisation was something that will haunt me for a fair few years yet.

They checked out about half an hour later.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 9:18, 8 replies)

I think we have a winner!
( Vambo, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 9:35, closed)

Not sure how it's insensitive to say that other people sometimes keep you awake.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 10:27, closed)

no...
but when you explain to them that the reason they're keeping you awake is 'deaf sex noise' they had hithertoo been unaware of, i think that qualifies.
(magictorch, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 10:38, closed)

It was more a point of
'don't you hate all the noise people make when you are trying to get to sleep?'

'No, I'm deaf. You cunt.'
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 18:16, closed)

Chewbacca
Butchering a live sealion.

Click for this alone.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Fri 11 Jan 2013, 14:06, closed)

^this

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 12 Jan 2013, 16:15, closed)

ditto

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 14 Jan 2013, 14:49, closed)

Thanks bunches
At lunch. I've just aspirated a spoonful of blood orange yoghurt (the real deal, not a euphamism). Note to self: Do not read shit like this whilst eating.
(shamblinthru Grasshopper! Next time use the potholders!, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 19:47, closed)