Duck holocaust
I live and work in the Peoples Republic of China, for a company mostly run by ex-pats. I get on well with the general manager, as he is a Brit with a good sense of what is funny and appreciates my b3ta style humour. The engineering director however is in serious need of being less intense i.e. getting that iron rod removing from his arse and lightening the f7ck up. We have had several run ins, about his inability to take my sense of humor, to the point the GM had us in his office to tell him to get a clue (my version of events, but he didn't tell me to notch it down, yet).

One day, after I had returned from Beijing I was describing some particularly great Beijing (Peking) duck, the the stuck up one asked if it was the same place he went to? He described how it labeled each duck with a number on its wing, which corresponded to records of its rearing. "So you mean they take ducks of a selected breed, number them on the arm, and stick them in an oven? What is this restaurant? Duck Aushwitz?"

It was around this time I found out the tightly wrapped one's lack of sense of humour was possibly related to his being of German descent. Even the GM looked at me as if to say"did you really just say that to him?"
( jagwap, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 14:45, 21 replies)

See now, what I do in situations like this is think 'might this possibly be offensive?' before opening my gob.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 14:47, closed)

But not on b3ta.
( jagwap, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 14:48, closed)

Nah, that still applies.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 14:54, closed)

AM's thought process
"might this possibly be offensive?".....

"yes it is quite offensive"....

"is the person being offended a bit of a cunt?".....

"yes he is a bit of a cunt".....

"go ahead then type it.....the cunt"
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:56, closed)

"Yes, yes WW I'll come and pleasure you in a moment. I've just got to finish writing this incredibly witty rejoinder to someone's post so that all the other posters on /qotw will see what a clever jape-ster I am..."
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 11 Jan 2013, 23:38, closed)

That can't be Albert Marshmallow...
...there's no mention of perving on underagers anywhere.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 14 Jan 2013, 7:25, closed)

Awww, bless.
You don't realise the spelling mistake.

If that wasn't so funny it would be sad.

NB: By that I mean - if it wasn't so funny that you are so not self aware that the OP meant AB it would be sad because instead of seeing an obvious spelling mistake you're so wrapped up in this site that you automatically thought that the OP was talking about Albert Marshmallow - someone who you've spent many an hour here having *witty* arguments with.
Dude go and have a snuggle with your missus - I'm guessing she's missing that.
Waits for *obvious* OkCupid joke*. Or something about my wife getting DP'd and me crying & eating noodles. Or at least anything to keep you at the computer and not in bed. Anything at all.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 14 Jan 2013, 11:44, closed)

Incredibly, this internet breakdown is even more dull than your normal internet persona.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 14 Jan 2013, 19:21, closed)

Top job Sir.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 15 Jan 2013, 2:47, closed)

Lolwhut?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 18:58, closed)

It's funny because when you have no come-back
you ALWAYS, without fail fall back on the old "Lolwhut?"
You really should include the pic as well - just to drive your point home.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 17 Jan 2013, 6:54, closed)

Duckau, surely?

(thefuckestuppest cheapened this, on, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 14:55, closed)

oof
well played, sir

Can I counter with The Drake Escape, perhaps?

Or Arbeit Macht Fried, even?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:34, closed)

oh yes
That would have been perfect. However I am do often let down in moments of offence, where I fail to peek.
( jagwap, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 18:16, closed)

I trust you followed up by telling him to fuck off back to mumsnet,
then showed your boss some pictures of your shed?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:42, closed)

To be fair
you do look like a pantomime nazi.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 17:39, closed)

"oooooh no I don't"
"where are those pesky minorities?" *twiddles 'tash*

"Behind you!"
( jagwap, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 17:57, closed)

You are the pesky minority now
you fat-nosed occidental devil.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 18:34, closed)

Lacist!

( jagwap, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 19:26, closed)

Pedants corner
It's spelled Auschwitz
(unclestinky, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 23:15, closed)

My phone's auto correct didn't know that
HTC are obviously holocaust deniers.
( jagwap, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 23:30, closed)