Boring serious life/family questions..
This is is something that I never really say out loud, being a bit of a modern anarcho-feminist and all that, but really, little kids do better with their mum around. Yes, women should be able to reach their full potential (as should men), but I do think that families with both parents working full time has a detrimental effect on children and on wider society. I sometimes secretly wonder if the rise of women entering the workforce correlates entirely with the breakdown of community and responsibility in our neighborhoods.

Or maybe it is the society wide brainwashing that we need more tatt and flatscreens to be happy? Maybe too many of us have swapped chasing the cash and splashing it (or credit) for proper human connection and experience.

I know this is a bit serious but I would be interested to hear what other b3tans think, even though I suspect I will told to get back in the kitchen and bake pie. Hmm, which sounds like yummy fun actually!
(AmiBambini, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 12:48, 10 replies)

Hi
Well said. I definitely agree that both parents working has a detrimental effect on the upbringing of children. The children need influence from both mother and father or they will grow up feeling they have been somewhat neglected by one or both of them
(scotsbloke, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 13:06, closed)

I think
you are spot on.
(Rsoles, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 13:16, closed)

The breakdown of our community/youth of today?
"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."
Attributed to Socrates

"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"
Plato

"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint"
Hesiod, 8th century BC

"The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behaviour and dress."
Peter the Hermit in A.D. 1274
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 13:48, closed)

Grand parents
There used to be a time when grand parents would do some of the childcare, now we ship them off to old peoples homes and medicate the shit out of them to stop them creating a fuss. While I agree with you on the need to have two parents about I don't think it always has to be either the mother or father. Send the men out to catch tigers and lions / bears and send the women out to collect berries and farm the land / allotment
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 14:24, closed)

Oh for pete's sake
I have little problem with the general gist of your post but what about children growing up by spending time with either parent rather than just 'mummy'. I am resisting the urge to get all militant about this but come on, 21st century, plenty of house husbands out there and who is to say that they are inferior to mothers in the home. I am sure that plenty are shite but then I daresay the same could be said of many a home making mum.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Mon 4 Jan 2010, 18:08, closed)

What about
the oft observed trend of boys who grow up without their father doing worse in school and being more likely to become involved in crime?

I think you'll find that 'mummy' isn't a substitute for 'daddy'. Maybe vice versa too, although I've never heard that suggested, despite there being a not insignificant number of single fathers around.
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 20:56, closed)

Quality Time...
...is what parenting is about, not quantity of time spent with mummy or daddy. All children have basic needs which parents (allegedly) know how to meet (food, drink, warm clothing etc.) Then comes the complicated bit, giving them quality time, talking to them, giving them time to answer your questions AND time to ask their own and receive proper replies. Reading to them, with them. Baking, Painting, DIY, general mum and dad stuff.

Ask yourself why some children grow up well mannered, caring and responsible, whilst others turn out chavs and slappers? Quality parenting, that's why. Quality time, not stuck in font of the flatscreen watching the Bluray, as you rightly say.

Sadly in my real life I have to deal with children whose parents are less than adequate, and it breaks my heart. It takes a brave person to say "My parents were crap. I'm going to be better than that" Sadly one can only be as good a parent as ones own parents, and when you have a shite example, you're a shite parent cos you don't know any better. Like I say, takes a brave person to admit it.
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Mon 4 Jan 2010, 22:27, closed)

.
I was brought up in a house where both my parents worked from the day I turned 3 months old, because it was necessary. My parents divorced when I was 10 - and from that point it became a hell of a lot more necessary for them both to work. I wouldn't wish being married to my dad on my worst enemy. He's a good dad but a shit husband. I started state school the week after I turned four. I used to go to a childminder until 6pm after school. I am now at a (very good) University studying Law after acing all my A-Levels. I am (touch wood) likely to graduate with a very high 2.1 or a First. After that I will become a barrister. I offer myself as an example of why what you say is bollocks.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 2:38, closed)

Erm maybe....
...but I am married to a barrister (and and effing good one at that) and being a professional at something is not commensurate with being a good person. Achievement is one thing, humanity another.

By the way good luck to you with the hours and the stress and for christ's sake if you do family or matrimonial find an outside interest to bury yourself in when not working otherwise it will slowly kill you.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 16:49, closed)

Ouch
Did you just insinuate that I am a dick? I assure you, I'm quite nice. Honest.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 19:21, closed)