The missus and I
went for a little drink in a country pub.

Then another.

And then another.

Suitably pissed up on cider, we started to merrily make our way back up the country lanes to her house.

She decided she was tired and deserved a piggy-back. Being a gentleman, I obliged. The cider had other plans. As I hoisted her up, I over balanced like I was in a You've Been Framed video. We tottered to the left ... and then to the right ... and then to the left again and then we fell backwards into a large ditch next to the road. As I landed on her, I headbutted her in the face.

Being drunken fools, we couldn't get out because we were laughing so much. The laughter caused me to do a little cider fart, which was actually a little cider poo.

A cow in a field opposite watched me with bovine disdain as I hid in the hedgerow and wiped my bum with a receipt, giggling to myself all the while.
(Cylon Bum Raider already knows how this will end, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:48, 7 replies)

hahaha
"bovine disdain"
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:28, closed)

fantastic
cliccck
(Hernandez Fiendish probably won't be here until at least, say, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:32, closed)

hehe
poo is always funny. did a little snort whilst reading that.
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:32, closed)

excellent!

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:37, closed)

Sounds like a Glaswegian night out
1. Batter girlfriend
2. Shit yourself

WIN
(Beelzebub's Ball Bag is pleasuring your wife on, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:35, closed)

Brilliant.
It just kept getting funnier.
( Moey, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 17:06, closed)

Excellent
I can just imagine the scene
(Smale is stuffed, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 12:32, closed)