Victoria Bitchbury
I lived with a frog sluttin’ brat from Hades at university for three months that seemed to last for a glacial ice age period (at least as long as the current Holocene, glacier fans).

Her name was Vicky (I will post her surname as well when I remember it) and she was a posh talking mummy’s girl who had gone to Cheltenham Ladies College (and never let anyone forget it). Her harpy-like face was at odds with her admittedly hot body. She actually looked like one of those witches from the end of ‘Army of Darkness’ and was a living embodiment of a BOBFOC.

She used to regularly get mummy to come down (from Surrey) down to Exeter to go shopping. Mummy used to love it as well and bought her all sorts of treats and furniture for her room. One occasion she ordered mummy to bring a computer and a computer desk as she needed them. Mummy and a handyman arrived to put the desk together, and I was asked to ‘sort out the computer’. I told the smirking harridan that I was currently suffering from ‘statics’ and could literally blow the computer inside out if I touched it. Fearfully, they then called up for a ‘computer expert’ to help them.

She was studying classics but found studying at university to be ‘trying’. This was the reason she failed all three years and later I found out that she actually spent six years doing a three years course.

She carefully and studiously ignored all cleaning rotas and on one occasion when the rest of my housemates and I had totally deep cleaned the entire house including doing all her washing up (we had taken a stand and not done it but the smell got to be too much), she came down to the kitchen where I was drying some glasses, took a knife out the drawer and some cheese out of the fridge, cut a slice directly on the counter, ate it, and left the knife, cheese, and cheese crumbs where they were and wandered off. With my face aghast, I promptly put the remaining cheese carefully into the pocket of one of her pairs of jeans that was on top of her laundry.

Other highlights include:

- Asked for an extra pizza to be ordered when we were ordering and refused to pay for it because she ‘only had a little pizza and we could sort it out’. This led to a big argument and we ended up sending the little pizza back and got us blacklisted from perfect pizza.

- Initially refused to pay for fairly split gas and electricity bills as ‘she didn’t use any’. We switched off her radiator and disconnected her room from the electricity. She did end up paying.

- One of our housemates had a car and we all used to go shopping on a Sunday. We would then get a list from her of the stuff she wanted while she went a coffee shop with her horsy friends. No money was provided and it proved to be a nightmare to recover the money as apparently ‘we had deliberately chosen sub-standard vegetables and fruit’. Needless to say we never got her any food again.

- She used to be absolutely obsessed with calling up the mega premium numbers that come with those guaranteed win scratchcards that come in shitty magazines and would invariably win a holiday for one to Norfolk on the 29th February departing from the Isle of Skye. Of course when we got the phone bill she denied that she had called anybody anywhere until we managed to prove that only she was in the house when the calls got made.

- Got her dad to buy her a Mercedes EVEN THOUGH SHE COULDN’T DRIVE. It was for learning in apparently.

- Tried to get us to agree to have one of her horses in our back garden living out of a trailer. We said no but she had the horse brought down anyway. She soon had him taken back to her stables when we called the RSPCA to come and inspect our property and they threatened to prosecute her.

In the end we kicked her out.

Then we had a party.

Then we were sick

Then we went to McDonalds.

Then we were sick again.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:11, 13 replies)

*clicks*
Bonus marks for holiday for one to Norfolk on the 29th February departing from the Isle of Skye and for Then we had a party. Then we were sick. Then we went to McDonalds. Then we were sick again.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:19, closed)

^this^
Those last few lines are priceless *also clicks*
( the_other_jeff_lebowski Croutons on my tits, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:26, closed)

Excellent
However I would have kicked her out after the Perfect Pizza incident. The best pizzas around.
(quagarr, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:40, closed)

Hooray for Exeter Uni
well, I like it here anyway... so much that after I finished my degree, I started another one.

But it does get a few of those types. As one of my lecturers used to say, "the University of Exeter - recruiting from all four corners of Surrey!"
(julius, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:55, closed)

Oh yes
When I was there (1998-2002), the Ram was a sea of sloanes with their pink shirts, mobile phones, and jumpers tied over their shoulders.

My friend went to the safer sex ball with a gigantic phone taped to the side of his face and 'Sloane ranger' written on his jumper. When people asked what he was dressed as, he replied that he was a gigantic penis.

Well I laughed anyway.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:01, closed)

@Powervator
I was there at the same time and all I can remember is a sea of posh twats in the Ewe/Lemmy on a wednesday after sports matches.

The womens rugby team being the scariest.

Great times!
(mejt, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:50, closed)

God, I remember
Then they all used to go to Timepiece and the sweaty condensation used to run down the walls.


*shivers*
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:30, closed)

Excellent
A most satisfying post.

A lot of the answers this week tend to wind me up, but then the karma bit is a welcome relief. A bit like when my wife takes me clothes shopping, but then gives me a relaxing handjob on the sofa later in the evening.

EDIT: Sorry about that, but it's the most accurate analogy I could think of.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:56, closed)

.
People like that shouldnt be wasting our oxygen and resources. You shouldve discreetely killed her, drained her blood in the bath or shower. sawed her into small pieces and put them in bin bags, then into seperate suitcases weighed down with bricks. and dumped them all in a large, deep body of water. thats what i wouldve done anyways...
(Pimp my Clown is going back to the future on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 22:42, closed)

You scare me.
But I like it.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 21:13, closed)

that'll teach you
not to eat at McDonalds
(Heggy, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 0:45, closed)

was getting ready to click, then
read the last four lines which are a complete delight.

*clicks*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 20:13, closed)

I dont blame you!








anyone would be sick after a McDonalds.
(Inflatable Aardvark, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:19, closed)