Ronnie
I was onboard a frigate back in the 80's and lived in the S&S Mess (Supply and Secretariat.The Chefs, Caterers, Stores etc.).

On a Saturday night at sea the duty watch of chefs would always make an extra effort and run a cook to order counter.

Steak? how would you like it? Omlettes? what would you like in it?

This particular day Jan, the guy in charge of the Galley sat down with Ronnie and went through the evening's menu.

"Usual menu" said Jan. "But tonight we'll also do a 'Spud'U'Like' counter for the lads.

"Righto!" Says Ronnie (who it must be said, was never the sharpest sandwich in the sea). And off he went to begin his watch.

That evening Jan and I queued up and looked over the epicurian delights that Ronnie and his lads had toiled over all afternoon.

No lovely baked spuds, no fillings, just chips.

I looked a Jan, he looked at me then shugged his shoulders and said.

"Oh well, I s'pose they're spuds 'e likes!".

One Monday morning Ronnie turned up in my sick bay with a face like a job lot of fire damaged lego (Challenge of the week anyone?).

"Who the fuck did that to you mate?". I naturally assumed he'd had 10 bales of shit knocked out of him over the weekend.

"No one". He replied. "I did it Waterskiing".

Now I've seen many sporting injuries in my time but what is now called the Mechanism of Injury just didn't equate to the damage to his face, so naturally I gently probed further.

"Fuck Off Ronnie. How'd you really do it and no bullshit!"

"I really was waterskiing Doc. I hit a tree"

His Missus was the same but her little story can follow if I haven't bored you all enough already.
(Pugwash, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 1:34, 1 reply)

face like a job lot of fire damaged lego
has had me chuckling rather more than I should be.

*click*
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:52, closed)