Not quite a tantrum...
...on the weekend my wife went out with her old school friends for a "get together".

"we'll just have a few, I'm not a sad alcoholic like you"

She stumbled home about 2:00 am, chundered all over the toilet floor, pissed herself, then fell into bed and snored like a pig.

I was so fucking annoyed at being woken up, cleaning up her vomit, put up with the stink of piss, booze and farts all night, knowing she'd be hungover in bed all the next day, unable to help look after kids.

I got out of bed, walked around to her side of the bed and wanked into her hair as she slept.


Fucking ruin my sleep, you get cummy hair.
( Ken Oath, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 13:52, 23 replies)

tantrum
tantric + cum
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 14:02, closed)

Did she know about the threesome
and the bleached ringpiece of which you wrote so enthusiastically?
(ubergeekian, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 14:17, closed)

Of course.

( Ken Oath, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 14:20, closed)

Not.

( Ken Oath, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 14:20, closed)

And the whole premise of that drunken post was my mate's girlfriend chucking a browneye to prove she bleached her arse.
Not much happened after that.

No threesome, no cummy hair.
( Ken Oath, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 15:41, closed)

I just spat out my
Gummy Bear.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:09, closed)

"Cummy hair"
Gets you a click
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 14:29, closed)

God forbid the milkman ever inadvertently wakes you up at 6am.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 14:55, closed)

That's a tricky one.
He won't keep still. I have to hold him down, and wave to the people in the bus as they trundle past, on the way to work.
( Ken Oath, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 15:25, closed)

Well if you married a fuckhole, you may as well treat her like one an all

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 14:59, closed)

Good Lord!
That is exactly what my dear old Grandma used to say.
( Ken Oath, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 15:22, closed)

You'd know all about that Rory
With the way that you treat your mum
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 12:25, closed)

Plead ignroance about the cummy hair
and accuse her of being a drunken slut too, letting random strangers wank into her barnet.

I always find that this helps defuse an argument.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 19 Jul 2012, 15:28, closed)

Ah yes, the old "why do you have cummy hair" red herring.
I tip my hat to you.
( Ken Oath, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 15:34, closed)

It would have covered her hair if you had tipped your hat just a bit more.

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 19 Jul 2012, 16:36, closed)

Does your missus not like you wanking on her?
She sounds a bit frigid to me.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 15:51, closed)

I never said she didn't like it...
...but I knew in the morning she would be most upset when she realised she'd missed out on the fun, due to being semi-comatose with flecks of chunder down the front of her best dress, at the moment of ropey delivery.
( Ken Oath, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 15:57, closed)

These fancy shampoos all contain protein to enrich the hair, sounds to me like you're doing her a favour.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 16:09, closed)

Yeah,
Who needs that chemical stuff, go organic, I say.
( Ken Oath, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 16:19, closed)

Love it!
could have been in last weeks qotw!

have a click
(Clit Ninja is having a white space party!, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 16:26, closed)

So what you are admitting to is that you sexually assaulted your wife in her sleep?
Well done, there.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 22:00, closed)

No, I can assure you, she was forewarned.
And she is usually perfectly happy to participate in similar activites when arriving home blind drunk.

Ride off on your High Horse.
( Ken Oath, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 1:48, closed)

I think *insert spooge inducing starlet*
may be immobile due to the spunk headed their way now.
It's gonna take the courts years to sort thru all of those sexual assault claims.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:14, closed)