Weddings Part II
Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us more of your wedding stories.
( , Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us more of your wedding stories.
( , Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
« Go Back
Never been to a wedding
Then 2 come along at once:
A number of years back my sister and one of my best friends decided to get married on the same day (not to each other). As one of the 4 best men for my mate, I resolved not to miss out on all the rib-nudging blokey fun on offer (this is a joke just for me, although you may be able to tell from my poncey style, I'm not a blokey-bloke Nuts subscribing knuckle dragger) and with both services being held within 25 minutes drive of each other, I resolved to be present for my mate's registrar service in York city centre; drive back home to the family hovel for my sister's reception, meal and to co-DJ the boisterous drunken-dad-dance-off, with my step-brother. I would then round off the night by going back into town for a messy stumble down Nostalgia Drive, at one of the other best men's cave of solitude.
All well and good except for no small amount of guilt trips from mother & sister; that's normal though.
But then:
My mate's marriage fell apart after 9 days, as he realised, far, far too late that he'd made a massive, not to mention expensive, mistake. As it also turns out the slimy fuck-splash had slept with the backing singer in his band (search for Hijack Oscar - they were on some E4 battle of the bands years ago, my mate is the bassist) the week before his Big Day. He told me all this some 3 or 4 months after the event. I called him a selfish, amoral prick.
He said that's why we are friends, I concurred and we continued the large drugs-fuelled, Accords & models, super-orgy. Max Mosley was there, so you know it was a good one. Wink.
( , Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:59, 2 replies)
Then 2 come along at once:
A number of years back my sister and one of my best friends decided to get married on the same day (not to each other). As one of the 4 best men for my mate, I resolved not to miss out on all the rib-nudging blokey fun on offer (this is a joke just for me, although you may be able to tell from my poncey style, I'm not a blokey-bloke Nuts subscribing knuckle dragger) and with both services being held within 25 minutes drive of each other, I resolved to be present for my mate's registrar service in York city centre; drive back home to the family hovel for my sister's reception, meal and to co-DJ the boisterous drunken-dad-dance-off, with my step-brother. I would then round off the night by going back into town for a messy stumble down Nostalgia Drive, at one of the other best men's cave of solitude.
All well and good except for no small amount of guilt trips from mother & sister; that's normal though.
But then:
My mate's marriage fell apart after 9 days, as he realised, far, far too late that he'd made a massive, not to mention expensive, mistake. As it also turns out the slimy fuck-splash had slept with the backing singer in his band (search for Hijack Oscar - they were on some E4 battle of the bands years ago, my mate is the bassist) the week before his Big Day. He told me all this some 3 or 4 months after the event. I called him a selfish, amoral prick.
He said that's why we are friends, I concurred and we continued the large drugs-fuelled, Accords & models, super-orgy. Max Mosley was there, so you know it was a good one. Wink.
( , Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:59, 2 replies)
« Go Back