» Absolute Power

This year was my first time teaching Year 1
For those who are not familiar with primary school year 1 are 5 year olds. This was their first year of formal school.

I had a lower ability group which meant that all the children in my class were unable to read and write last September.

We are a week off the end of the school year, they can now all read and write. Yes some are better than others but all can read and write to some degree.

I have given the gift of literacy to 25 people.

That is absolute power.
(Sat 10th Jul 2010, 17:16, More)

» Customers from Hell

Not me but the shop nextdoor
was a very high class maternity wear shop.

It had nice comfy chairs just outside the changing rooms.

One afternoon when all the changing rooms were full of pregnant ladies a man came in, sat down in the chair, got his lad out and wanked himself square and round again.
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 20:40, More)

» Common

I used to work in an opticians in Essex.
I think the most common thing I ever was the woman who, when booking her children in for eye tests, checked her tattoos for their dates of birth.
(Thu 16th Oct 2008, 18:08, More)

» How clean is your house?

My folks house is clean but.......
when I was young they had a few cats. As we lived in the country the cats would often catch animals from crows down to shrews.
As is the way with cats they wouldn't just kill them, no they wanted to bring them in the house and show them off, still alive. Often they would end up losing them and then 'hunt the mouse' would ensue.

Anyways, we started to notice a funny smell coming from the fridge. We figured it was inside as the smell got much worse every time the fridge door was opened. The fridge was emptied out and scrubbed down. However the smell got worse.
Eventually the fridge freezer was moved to see if something had died behind it, and this was when we realised what had happened.

Under the fridge was a rat; not just dead, but cooked.

It seems that one of the cats had brought in the rat, which had then escaped.
It had taken refuge under the fridge freezer and, as rats are wont to do, had chewed it's way though a power cable and electrocuted itself.
This cable was somehow connected to the light in the fridge. The teeth of the rat still completed the circuit and everytime the door opened the light came on and the rat heated up!
(Sat 27th Mar 2010, 14:39, More)

» School Naughtiness

It's a pearoast but.....
It has to be the naughtiest thing I've ever done in school.

Not last winter but the one before I was teaching year 1 (5-6 year olds) My classroom was right by the playground and we has our own door out on to it.

Halfway through the afternoon's lesson the sky started to turn grey and eventually it quietly started to snow. The children we so busy working that they didn't notice. It had actually got quite thick on the ground before one boy looked up and shouted 'it's snowing'.
We stopped for a minute and looked at the snow before I encouraged them to carry on.
But now they were distracted, this was the first time we had had snow since the previous year and when you are 5 a year is a lifetime ago. There were general mutterings of snowball fights and toboggans.

I knew it was over, I was fighting a losing battle.

"Right, everyone put their pencils down" I said sounding angry, "this is not good enough there is too much talking going on. You are excited by the snow and so am I. Get your coats on we are going outside."

We came back in about 45 minutes later when it was home time.
(Sat 10th Sep 2011, 23:32, More)