» Clients Are Stupid

Idiot tech support, rather than a client, but ...
We've recently been 'Joe Jobbed'. Someone is sending out spam emails with a from: address at our company domain. We first noticed this when we started to get bounces to random people who were supposedly at our company (n_rodreguez@, j_smith@ etc).

I was annoyed, but not concerned until we got a bounce from AOL which said that they may start to blacklist our domain. As some of our clients use AOL this would be a major inconvenience, so I rang AOL UK to reassure them that were not sending spam, and can they make sure that we didn’t get blacklisted.

The tech support call got through to an Indian call centre, who forwarded me to an engineer. I outlined the problem to him and after to-ing and fro-ing about whether I was an AOL customer or not he told me that someone must have infiltrated our network or cracked our password. His suggested remedy was to change the password for our email account.

I said that the person sending the mail didn’t care about reading our email, merely that he was sending out viagra-plugging spam with a forged reply address at our domain but using SMTP servers for a different ISP. He then replied that it was impossible to forge an email address, and that the person must have access to our network and that we should change our passwords.

As politely as I could, I pointed out that it is perfectly possible to forge an email address – and more to the point, we don’t have an SMTP server of our own - we use our ISP’s (blueyonder). Even still, he stuck to his guns and repeatedly insisted that, with all due respect, I was wrong and that you couldn’t forge an address, and that if I just changed my passwords it would *click*

*hangs up*

FYI – after a phone call to AOL in the US it turns out that they block SMTP servers, rather than actual domains, so all is okay - though the bounces are still coming in
(Mon 29th Dec 2003, 16:29, More)

» Near Death Experiences

Death by wave-pool
For my 10th birthday my folks rented the local swimming pool for a swimming party. Said pool had the added bonus of a wave machine and large (6' x 4') floats you could sit on.

Me and 3 friends were mucking about on one of the floating mats when the pool operators turned the wave machine on. Unfortunately large buoyancy aids, 2ft waves and sugar-fuelled kids don't mix. The raft capsized, thowing us all in the water, and my 3 friends all climbed back on board. I, however, had attempted to surface underneath the mat (now weighed down by three kids) and so naturally couldn't get a lungfull of livegiving air.

Being a bit of a wuss I'd never been able to open my eyes underwater (chlorine stings) and in my panicked little brain I came to the conlcusion that somehow I'd been sucked into the pipe system for the swimming pool.

With my eyes firmly shut, starting to freak out and really wanting to start breathing soon, I swam in what I assumed was the direction of the opening for the pipe before rising to the surface and gulping down some much needed oxygen. Of course I was a mere 3ft or so from my friends who were mucking about quite merrily, blissfully unaware of the near-death experience I'd just had. That said, they looked like they were having fun, so it didn't take me long to get over it and join in myself.
(Mon 29th Nov 2004, 11:47, More)

» Have you ever started a fire?

Bong-hat
It was my mate's birthday in the first year of Uni and someone had given him one of those beer hats, with two can holders and a dual straw arrangement. However, we came up with a much better use for it - replace the cans with coke-bottle bongs.

20 minutes later our bong hat was ready and, toting two spliffs, was passed about the room. All was good for the first couple of minutes until we passed it to a guy who was standing under the smoke alarm in the bedroom. Needless to say the emissions from two J's held directly underneath the smoke alarm was enough to set off the alarms throughout the building, despatching the Sussex firebrigade en route to campus.

It was still an excellent hat though.
(Wed 3rd Mar 2004, 16:00, More)

» Pet Names

Moses
Our labrador is called Mose, after the jazz pianist Mose Allison. Only most people mis-hear this as Moses (when we talk about "Mose's food bowl", etc.), so they think that we're religious nuts, instead of Satanic beat freaks.

Also, our first pet was a hamster called Cuddles. So by the ancient art of porn naming (first pet + mum's maiden name) my studly alter-ego is Cuddles Morgan. I just like to hug.
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 14:56, More)